Welcome to the Hook-Up culture of 2015. It’s called the hook up culture because you’ve been baited like a fish. You’re hooked up because you hooked up. You’re a nice catch that caught feelings.
A tale as old as time, he or she tricked you somehow into thinking you meant more. This isn’t a one-sided situation: you bit the hook; maybe you didn’t see the string or maybe you just were so hungry you decided to ignore it.
If you’re currently a flopping fish on the line the signs will be as follows: empty promises of things that never happen, late night booty calls or confusion about what the relationship actually is. The last one is a big one… if you’re on the line and you’re not being reeled in then you, my friend, need to give up the struggle and release yourself into the sea. You’ve been baited for sex, for sport. I’m here to tell you, my little fishy friend, that YOU have the power to get that hook outta your mouth and swim on.
If your anything like me, it’s hard to hook up with a friend over and over again without getting attached. That person was your friend, or someone whose company you enjoyed and now your thinking about that person when you wake up (alone.)
To free yourself you need to first believe that you have just as much power as the one behind the rod. Look at you! All scales, swimming around a cool blue sea …I mean you’re breathing underwater for God sakes! I’d like to see the fisherman do that.
Okay so enough fish metaphors, let’s get reel.
Step 1: Admit you like the OOYA (Object of Your Affection.) Or you don’t. Maybe you don’t know. Admit you’re in a relationship that is not completely satisfying your mental/emotional/intellectual needs (which it should ALWAYS) and that you could be worrying about better things. Your wellness should be cared about – not just in the bedroom.
Step 2: Tell the OOYA how you feel. e.g. “I didn’t expect this to happen but I like you.” or “I don’t know what I want but I do know I’m not getting what I deserve out of this type of relationship.” The most powerful thing you can do on this planet is be honest about how you feel, in all aspects of your life. People will respect you for that. I felt enlightened after I admitted to the OOMA that I liked him; he said he didn’t feel the same way. I’m currently planning a cross country road trip and focusing on other things now that I know he doesn’t feel some type of way. The guessing game is over. I’m off the hook, I’m free!
Step 3: You can’t be mad at the OOYA for not feeling the same way. The OOYA might be incapable of possessing complex emotions or maybe they “don’t want a relationship.” That line alone deserves another article. Side Note: I’m one of the most independent people I know and I love being single but it’s important to recognize if you aren’t receiving or cultivating positive things in your life because of this person then it’s time to say bye. A hook in the mouth is a pretty unattractive look, remember that.
Step 4: Just keep swimming. You’ll be fine. I promise.