Thought Catalog

How To Be Authentically Confident (And Why It Matters)

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Fernando Brasil

You would be surprised how many people lack confidence. Just imagine how your life would change if you would believe in yourself and be completely confident in your abilities.

Many individuals appear to be confident or successful on the surface. They act confidently and self-assured but if you look underneath you will notice that they are only covering up a profound sense of insecurity or inadequacy.

Recognizing genuine confidence

The Latin word for confidence is cōnfīdentia from cōnfīdō,  con- (“with”) + fīdō (“trust”)

In this case, confidence means “WITH TRUST”

As the saying goes, “faith can move mountains”.

We always trust or have faith in something. We either picture the best case or the worst case scenario in our mind.

You can usually feel if someone embodies confidence or not. Those who are genuinely confident have an unshakable presence, are quietly assertive and perfectly capable of standing up for themselves. Simultaneously, they are humble and independent of the good opinions of others.

  • They know their self-worth, but they don’t feel the need to show it off. At the same time, they are not afraid to shine and inspire others.
  • They display an emotional maturity and accept their weaknesses as part of wholeness and don’t try to cover anything up.
  • They are aware that presence and personal power are inside and don’t shrink or make themselves small when they have conversations with people whom they perceive to be important.
  • They have the courage to move beyond their comfort zone and are not afraid to confront their deepest fears.
  • They are proactive and do not complain all the time.
  • They forgive themselves and others quickly and move on.
  • They don’t get discouraged by failures or setbacks.
  • They speak with conviction instead of trying to put their message across in a quiet tone as fast as possible.
  • They welcome constructive criticism and have the ability to view at things and situations from various perspectives.
  • They understand that finding fault with oneself or disliking oneself is nothing else than placing a burden on one’s life.
  • And most of all they are aware that in order to be happy they have to love themselves unconditionally, enjoy their life and be of service to others.

Feeling secure and confident inside changes one’s body language and tone of voice. The entire energy field expands when a person feels empowered and embodies confidence.

Being authentically confident and believing in yourself does not mean that you will not feel nervous or anxious when you take risks and step out of your comfort zone for example or that you will never be indecisive or question your beliefs.

Real confidence is simply a deep inner knowing that you will be OK no matter what happens. Remaining calm, balanced and unattached especially in the midst of a difficulty is only possible if someone has developed a high degree of acceptance of all life events. A truly mature, wise and confident individual is ultimately able to surrender, to let go and to accept all events. The world we live in is a world of duality and polarity and we must learn to accept both ends of the spectrum and recognise that all is part of the whole.

With regular practice and life experience, you will develop an inner resilience naturally and learn how to remain stable and grounded like an oak tree no matter if you experience success or failure or if the outside world approves of your behavior and actions or not.

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.― Lao Tzu

Developing an inner authority and becoming independent of the good opinion of other people will help you to move through any turbulent times.

Every time you experience an internal discontent as a result of what someone else has said or done is a sign that you have given your power away.

People will always add some meaning or interpretations to your behaviour or actions, but ultimately none of this is who you truly are. What is right and what is wrong varies with habit and custom, and therefore there is no need to pay too much attention to other people’s opinions.

The less you depend on any external approval or validation, the happier you will be. When you let go of the need to prove anything to anyone and instead live open-heartedly in the moment, you will be in tune with all of the creation, and things start to flow more effortlessly.

Being a confident person includes the ability to say NO to certain things or people and not to say YES out of politeness. It means also having the ability to discern if someone acts from a place of integrity or not and to distance yourself from people who don’t have the best intentions in mind.

You will become naturally confident when you act from a place of integrity – even when no one is watching. This does not mean that you will obey all rules or conform blindly to authorities. It does only mean that you will be aware of the bigger picture and the universal law of cause and effect. In fact, following rules, teachings or dogmas blindly is a way of giving your power away.

You will develop an intuitive sense what is appropriate or not and you will be able to discern truth from untruth when you remain heart-centered and when you operate on a higher level of consciousness.

Unconditional Self-Acceptance

Paradoxically confidence is closely interlinked with gentleness, compassion and staying present and open with whatever arises. It is important to keep in mind that it takes time, dedication, consistency and discipline to change your habits, especially if you have been practicing the habit of being insecure, doubtful or anxious for a long time. However, it is equally important to pay attention to the inner harsh critical voice and change it into a kind one.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Budda

Develop such an unconditional friendliness and compassion towards yourself that no matter what kind of thoughts or emotions arise, you do not fear or judge them anymore.

Understanding emotions and energy dynamics

Instead of labeling an insecurity or a feeling of inadequacy as good or bad acknowledge that a feeling or emotion is nothing more than an arising, creative energy which will dissolve by itself if you allow it to flow freely and don’t resist it. Everything is impermanent and therefore even the most uncomfortable feeling or emotions will fade away.

The energy of irritability, frustration, impatience, insecurity, anxiety arises, and it passes away. What keeps the energy alive is the story, judgement and labels which we put on the top of the energy. When we feed any arising energy with our stories, the unpleasant feeling will remain in our energy field and arise again and again until we are ready to release the energy by telling a different story.

The following program will help you to:

  • Release trapped emotions
  • Clear any subconscious energy blocks
  • Feel empowered
  • Transform emotions such as anger and jealousy into self-esteem, inner strength and compassion

Hypnosis for Confidence – Clearing Subconscious Blocks

Of course, each person is unique, but oftentimes low self-esteem or a lack of confidence has been developed early in life. Sometimes it can be helpful to explore the background and the events which have led to particular dynamics, but in the end, the main focus should be to develop a new and healthier set of perspectives. The following self-hypnosis session contains a gentle hypnotic induction, positive suggestions and empowering beliefs which will help you to create a shift in your subconscious mind.

Bring Out Your Inner Confidence can have a powerful effect on your emotional and mental wellbeing. With the aid of this hypnosis session, you can address any thoughts that may have weakened your confidence and replace more with more helpful thought patterns and behaviors.

Bring Out Your Inner Confidence Self-Hypnosis will create new neural pathways in the brain which will allow you to feel that a positive shift has already happened and it will make it much easier to experience this feeling in your everyday life.

It will help you to: 

  • To center and ground yourself
  • Achieve a state of calmness and relaxation
  • Let go of everything that no longer serves you
  • Step outside of your comfort-zone
  • Develop a better, healthier self-image
  • Feel comfortable in situations which have caused previously distress
  • Keep an unwavering faith and move boldly towards your goals

In addition to listening to this hypnosis session, I encourage you to work with imagination on a daily basis for a period of 3 to 4 weeks. Think of someone who has the qualities you would like to adapt, (this is known as modelling) and then step into that person in your mind’s eye and feel how it feels like to act and behave like this person.

Hi, I am Erika Brose and I offer a beautiful blend of Holistic Healing, Intuitive Counselling, and Coaching and I help people to cultivate self-love, heal emotional and psychological suffering, develop healthy self-care habits and reach their goals.

If you are stuck or are currently struggling with your path we can explore the inner dynamics together and clear the blocks which prevent you from moving forward. After clearing the blocks we can also explore your vision for the future and capture specific goals so that your life can then start to flow in a far more creative and joyful way with new meaning and direction. TC mark

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