The definition of mindfulness is “the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.” Or, in more technical terms, mindfulness is “a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.”

There are a number of times throughout my day that I am on autopilot. On my way to work, cooking dinner, getting my kids ready for bed. To be mindful, your conscious mind has to be focused and clear on the very moment you are experiencing. Like others, I spend much time reflecting on the past or living for the future. I found it difficult, or should I say unimportant, to seize the moment. Over the course of the years, this begins to make you feel as if you were left out of something (FOMO) or like nothing is ever good enough.

3 Ways to Practice Mindfulness

1. Meditate.

And that doesn’t have to look like your traditional “sitting on the floor with your legs criss cross applesauce and humming” meditation. Just taking one minute out of your day to calm your mind is a start. You can increase the time when you become better at meditating in the traditional (or nontraditional) manner. To become good at meditation, one must consistently practice calming the conscious mind. Before bed and upon waking are ideal times to meditate.

2. Practice different calming techniques. 

Yoga, journaling, one-on-one therapy, crafting, etc. can help in your physical, emotional, and most of all, your mental awareness. Again, being consistent in practicing these techniques will allow you to advance beyond the beginner level.

3. Think positive thoughts.

Most things we do subconsciously are through learned behavior. When you talk negatively to yourself and/or others, you are conditioning your brain to think negatively. Think the best in any situation, even the bad. Everything has an outcome, but it is up to you to find the positive within the negative. You didn’t get that promotion because a better opportunity is on its way. You didn’t win the game, but you made it the championships and you played your heart out. Seek to be positive in every lesson.

I am overly optimistic about everything that I want to happen in my life. And when it doesn’t happen, I chalk it up to “it wasn’t meant for me.” Sometimes, you need to hear: “It’s not always about you.”

Remember that you can also be your own worst enemy. Don’t allow your emotional response to outweigh the logical response. You can’t put all of your eggs in one basket. You must trust the process even when it tap dances on your feelings.

With that being said, be mindful of your emotions. Keep them in check. Emotions get us in trouble OFTEN! And if you don’t check your emotions at the door, you could bring on a lot of unnecessary drama.

Just because you don’t speak on a situation doesn’t always make you the bigger person. When you fail to communicate your true feelings, your decisions and responses get altered because you are not expressing your most inner thoughts.

My recent experiences, to include my separation, have taught me that the expression “closed mouths don’t get fed” to be true. You can speak your mind without being rude or disrupting people’s energies. Be mindful of your delivery and tone of the response. When you don’t let your emotions take over, the process of mindfulness becomes easier and you are able to communicate your issues in peace.