35 Pickup Lines That I’ve Graded For Your Convenience

Attention fellas. As the summer season gets fully underway, and you strive for that warm-weather romance (or one night fling), you’ll want to carefully consider how your eager pursuing will appear to the ladies. If landing a pretty lady in your bed is the goal, keep it clean, friendly – and where appropriate, funny. If you’re looking for something more serious, I must inform you that, while we might not always admit it, women have a fundamental desire for a good “how we met” story. That story will never, ever, ever, ever being with, “Well, we were in bar and he came up to me and said, ‘I put the STD in stud. All I need is U.’” So, here is an A-F report card of real lines we’ve been subjected to. Take it or leave it, as you wish. Happy hunting!
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Shutterstock

A

1. Hi, my name is…
Simple, yet genius.

2. Hey, beautiful.
Beautiful is the best word in the English language.

3. You look familiar. Do I know you?
Polite and feasible conversation starter.

4. I’m sorry, but I just had to come over and say hi to you.
Oh, little ‘ol me? ;)

B

1. When God made you, he was totally showing off.
Yea, yea. I know.

2. Do you like jalapenos? Because I want to be jalapeno pants.
This is actually pretty funny. I’d give this guy a chance.

3. Are you sitting on the F5 key? Because your ass is refreshing.
This is likely coming from a computer nerd, and I can appreciate a smart dude.

4. Is your name wi-fi? Because I’m feeling a connection.
Same as above.

5. Can I feed you?
Creepy, but if he’s referring to actual food, I’m in.

6. Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.
Lololol.

C

1. Do you like raisins? How about a date?
Hmmm.

2. You look a lot like my next girlfriend.
No I don’t. Goodbye.

3. Aside from being sexy, what else are you good at?
I’m quite skilled at kneeing guys in the balls.

4. I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.
I’m going to be running away from this man in a flash.

5. Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem Wright for me.
Wrong.

6. Are you related to Yoda? Because yoda-licious.
I hate Star Wars (or Star Trek, or whatever).

7. Guy: Hey, let’s go upstairs.
Girl: What’s upstairs?
Guy: Just some beds and stuff.
No shot.

8. Is it hot in here, or are your boobs just huge?
Welp, my boobs are an average C, so I’ll rate this line as such.

D

1. Was your mother a fighter pilot? Because when she had you she dropped a BOMB.
This guy is definitely a tool.

2. If you catch me breaking into your house, it’s just revenge for stealing my heart.
He best not go anywhere near my home.

3. People call me Ted. But you can call me tonight.
It’s OK, I’ll just call him Never.

4. What’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don’t have a Ferrari.
Tempting, but nah.

5. Guy: How do you spell me?
Girl: M –E
Guy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There’s no D in me.
Guy: Not yet.
Ickkkk.

6. Baby, I’m no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight.
I’d rather be carried away by an actual flood than see what he’s referring to.

7. Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
Oh, madone!

8. Is your name Daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here.
Too dirty.

9. Are you from Ireland? Because my dick’s-a-Dublin.
He better wish on his lucky clover that I don’t crack him in the head with a beer bottle.

10. Do you smell that? Yea, you’re the shit.
This line stinks.

11. Girl, I want to put you in a bathtub full of green Jello.
What?

F

1. I’m not drunk – I’m just intoxicated by you.
So, so, so stupid and lame.

2. Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
Completely unoriginal to the point that I want to cry.

3. Did you just fart? Because you blew me away.
Girls don’t fart, so no.

4. If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?
Very *small*, my friend.

5. Guy: You’re coming home with me tonight.
Girl: How do you know?
Guy: Because I’m stronger than you.
AHHH.

6. Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
The only thing that’s getting sent here is my foot to his ass. TC mark

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