I know what it’s like, being just the friend. It’s rough. You feel bad complaining about your life because you do have such great friends, but it never feels like enough.
Time and time again, you find someone who you think you really connect with. You try not to develop any feelings because you know how it always turns out. But you do anyway. He’s so nice and you love talking to him and you feel a connection with him unlike anything else. You can’t help but feel like he’s giving off that vibe too. He talks to you, smiles at you, texts you for hours every day. How could he not be feeling the same thing too? Your friends say they see it, see him, see you, see it turning into something more.
But one day something happens. Something happens that triggers a response of his feelings, his true feelings, for you. And it’s always the same and you always kick yourself for letting these feelings slide in, because now it’s going to be hard to tuck them away. He didn’t mean to come off that way, he says. You’re one of his best friends, he says. And while you are flattered that he thinks of you that way, you still wish it were more.
You’ll struggle about how you feel for weeks, months even. It’s hard to be mad at someone who didn’t really do anything wrong. And it’s hard not to talk to him all of the time, so you still do. That connection you felt at the beginning? Turns out it was just a friendship forming, a good friendship, but one that will be pained from one side from now on. You’ll try to act strong, try to act like it’s not a big deal that he doesn’t see you that way, that you’re just his best friend.
But inside, you still get that rush of excitement when your phone dings and you see his name on your screen, only to remember that he’s just your friend and that’s all you really are to him and all you’ll ever be.
So yes, I know how you must feel, and I’m sorry that I can’t give you more advice on what to do, what to say, how to act. All I can say is that you do have a friend, but one that will never understand exactly how you feel every time you talk to him, and how much pain you feel inside to be rejected once again. All you can do is smile, be strong, and act like nothing is wrong, because what really is wrong? You do have a great friend after all, right?
Don’t you wish it were that easy?