Bring Back The Alpha Male! (A Man Who Knows What He Wants And Goes For It)


Many women in our generation have quickly realized the unfortunate lack of Alpha Males. Passive men may be quick to state “why don’t women simply become less passive themselves, instead of complaining about passive men?” However, we ladies are doing exactly that, and many of us are getting tired of it – which is exactly why a man who knows what he wants and goes for it is so damn sexy.

We can’t help what turns us on. It’s not just my girlfriends and I who can’t stand Passive Men. There are massive numbers of women who are less attracted to passive men and much more turned on by the Alpha Male type. These women crave men with confidence, who take initiative and take the lead. These men know what they want and go for it. A man with these wonderful traits have an in with women. The epidemic of Passive Man has caused women to swoon for an alpha male if they come across one, as they know how rare and special he is.

Perhaps men have become passive in their pursuit because they have so many options – causing them to sometimes feel nonchalant about a woman, even if she is a great catch. Dating is much more challenging for the women of our generation than it was for our parent’s generation. The invention of the smart phone and the popularity of dating apps has resulted in everyone being presented with a plethora of options, and it can therefore be quite tough to stand out.

Gentlemen, here are 5 Reasons why you should experiment a little and try being more dominant when you’re out there in the dating world:

1. It’s Never Too Late to Turn Things Around

Even if you have been passive in your pursuit with a woman, the moment you start to take a little more initiative and show a bit more confidence – she will take notice of it, and be extremely impressed. This is especially true if the woman you are dating has been making up for your passivity, making the plans and asking you out – and you have been letting her take the lead while not taking much initiative yourself.

In my many years of dating experience, I would become much more attracted to a man the instant he finally started taking the lead. Let’s put it this way: If a woman likes you, she probably wants to see you this coming weekend. However, she’ll get frustrated if you wait until Friday to ask her for weekend plans. If you show initiative, and make plans in advance, you will come across sexy, assertive and mature.

This is as easy as taking a minute out of your day to ask her how her day is going, come up with a plan for the next time you see each other, and take the lead in proposing that plan to her. If you have been passive in your pursuit and she has been patient and easy-going about it, that’s awesome – but you may want to turn things around – before she loses interest or finds a man who takes a bit more authority.

2. Treat Her Like a Priority, Not an Option: You Will Be Amazed By What Happens

If a woman feels as though you are treating her like a priority, instead of one of your many options, the relationship (and the sex) will become so much better it just might blow your mind. The best relationships stem from security and confidence. If a woman feels confident and secure with you, instead of left wondering if she’s just a hookup to you, she’ll be more confident in bed. And you know what that means – it means she will be better in bed.

If she is reassured that she is much more to you than just one of your many options, she will also feel comfortable leaving you to do your own thing while she does hers. She will be able to show you a different side of her where she is completely at ease around you. Unfortunately, being passive and not taking initiative with her will result in her feeling insecure, not secure.

3. Putting More Effort In Will Result In Her Choosing You Over Him

If a woman has a few options, the man who will stand out will be the alpha-male type who is putting in effort and has the drive to push the relationship forward, allowing the relationship to progress. The passive or lazy man will most likely be the one who is left in the dust. Women are usually attracted to men who pursue them, take the lead, and make the plans. This is especially important during the beginning stages, when a woman is making decisions on what she thinks you’re all about.

4. If Both Of You Are Passive It Will Never Work Out

Take a passive man and a passive woman, and you’ve created a recipe for disaster. Gentlemen, the reason she’s shy and insecure is because you are not taking the lead or putting in that much effort. She is shy – while you are passive. Together, the two of you will go absolutely nowhere.

Two wrongs do not make a right, and two passive people will never make it work. I can guarantee you that your woman will show more confidence if you start to take the lead more often. It’s important to keep the momentum going, but impossible to do so if one or both of you are passive.

5. If You Are Into A Woman You Must Keep The Momentum Going

Gentlemen, do you know what happens if you go weeks in between the second date and the third date? Nothing good. Are you aware of the subtle consequences of going 3 or 4 days without texting or calling the woman you are dating? Trust me, nothing good comes of that.

You are not playing it cool, or playing hard to get to keep her interested anymore. We are not in high school. A girl might be attracted to that’s sort of behavior, but a woman will not be. If you’re too laid-back, an alpha-male will probably come along and steal your babe away. Remember, it’s never too late to turn things around – but you may want to do so while you’ve still got any of her interest. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Erica Gordon is the author of Aren’t You Glad You Read This? The Complete How-To Guide for Singles with a History of Failed Relationships Who Want their Next Relationship to Succeed, available here.


Erica is a dating expert and hopeless romantic who always keeps it real, no matter what the outcome of that realness might be. She loves to post memes, travel pics and dating advice on her Instagram @the_babe_report and she’s the author of the modern relationship advice book “Aren’t You Glad You Read This?”

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