On a good day, my mind crosses all the T’s and dots all the I’s. While my mind tends to wander, steering it back on track is something that I’ve perfected. Knowing when to think of a certain topic, when I need to block out something that reminds me of hurt or pain and how to bring up a thought that lends so much joy is now just second nature.
But man, I am no match for late night thoughts. Those thoughts that when you’re laying in bed just about to fall asleep you begin to think about the text you shouldn’t of sent, the chance you wish you would of taken or the fantasy scenario that needs perfecting.
Late night thoughts are dangerous. Late night thoughts take me back to moments that I want to block out, moments that make me toss and turn wondering why I didn’t correct them the second I had the chance to. As soon as my mind starts to fall into this spiral of what ifs, the darkness begins to grow and grow until suddenly, the only track my mind can find is that of “Things you’ve tried to forget”.
How do we escape late night thoughts? How do we get to a point were our mind learns to block out the darkness? I’ve tried and tried until it hit me that – the darker the hour, the brighter the light.
In these moments when we feel like our mind is betraying us and taking us back to these moments of hurt, pain and confusion we can remember that in this dark hour, the bright light was able to break through at some point.
Let’s be honest… we all wish we had the ability to alter certain situations or eliminate the memory of another. But in this time where our “what ifs” start creating the darkness, we continue to push through and acknowledge that these times have allowed us to grow, to be better and to reflect on these moments for good.