I am a proud resident of Fresno. Some people around different parts of California and the US like to refer to Fresno/The Central Valley as “The Armpit of California,” but I like to refer to it as my beautiful home.
I’ve been living in Fresno for close to 8 years but I’ve lived in the Central Valley (Visalia, what’s up!) my whole life, with the exception of 2015. It wasn’t until I moved out of state twice in 2015 to Colorado and Ohio that I realized that the girls are different here than anywhere else and I mean that as a good thing.
I’ve been on my fair share number of dates in Fresno at BJ’s or Yard House. I’ve met and dated some really great women. Here are some I encountered along the way. If you’re a single dude in Fresno, I’m pretty sure you can attest to having met some of these girls as well.
1. Beauty School Grad
She probably graduated from either Milan or Paul Mitchell. Given that she works in the beauty industry, she probably wears quite a bit of makeup and has some color in her hair. She’s naturally beautiful but she likes adding those finishing touches.
She is also a savvy marketer. If she doesn’t have her own makeup/beauty YouTube channel, she subscribes to a bunch of makeup/beauty channels and talks about these YouTube beauty gurus amongst her friends. She definitely has an Instagram account, however only 1/12th of the pictures are actually of her, the other 11/12th are pictures of her clients sitting in her studio chair.
2. Club Employee
She works at one of the few clubs in Fresno but more than likely Imperio or HCK. She is beautiful, she knows it, and so does every other guy at the club. Her dress code usually consists of a lot of black and some lace but don’t think just because you ordered bottles that she owes you her number or anything.
Almost all her photos on social media are taken while she is at work. She likes the attention she gets from her job but that doesn’t make her a bad person. Since she works on the weekends, she likes to go out and have fun during the middle of the week so don’t be surprised to see her having a good time at Jimbo’s on Wednesdays.
She works at a bar in town or bartends at a popular restaurant. Note: Bartenders who bartend at bars are different than bartenders who bartend at clubs.
She is less bubbly than the girls who work at the club. She’s great at listening to your problems since that’s what she does the majority of her day. She tends to have an infectious smile when you’re ever soo lucky to see it.
She’s also tough because she gets hit on inappropriately by drunk guys all day and doesn’t put up with any shit. She can probably drink you under the table.
4. Young Single Mother
She is a young, single, independent woman who happens to be a mother. Given that Fresno has a high amount of young single moms compared to other cities, she probably only hangs out with other young single moms. She almost always has a great job because she’s a provider. She never misses an opportunity to tell you how hard it is to be a single mom.
Good luck trying to see her during the week, she will be too busy providing for and taking care of her young one (s). You’ll probably only be able to see her on the weekends when she can leave her children with their dad or her family. Lastly, be cautious of baby daddy drama.
5. Fitness Enthusiast
She works out everyday and you know this because you see post of her workouts on Instagram. Speaking of Instagram, she probably has the word “fit” in her handle somewhere and she use every hashtag known to many when she posts pictures.
She either competes in physique (bikini, figure, etc.) competition or aspires to. You are turned on by her nice physique but even more so her passion and dedication. She drives you to train harder. She might even be able to lift more than you, if she can’t I can guarantee that she can glute kickback more than you.
Trying to go on dates with her are hard because either a) she only eats prepped meals or b) the place you want to go doesn’t fit her macros. She will drink with you on occasion but she will probably order vodka and soda water.
6. Promo Model
She wears t-shirts with company logos on them for a living and she’s paid pretty nicely to do so. Most promo models do it because a) they have aspirations to become a real model or b) it’s a fun way to make money while going to school. She’s outgoing and charismatic, she’s just not a pretty face, she’s a marketer and an ambassador of a brand.
If you’re thinking about asking her to go to a big event in town, for example The Big Fresno Fair, forget it. She is already working at the event. On slower days she may be found promo modeling at a local grocery or liquor market next to the Coronas.
7. Hipster Chick
She is a creative of some sort, whether or not she does it for a profession. She is always hanging out in either tower district or downtown; however, many times she lives in neither areas. She doesn’t like hanging out in north Fresno because she feels there are too many strip malls and corporate chains.
Her favorite bar is Peeve’s Public House, which also happens to be mine. She never misses an art hop and only eats and drinks at local establishments. She’s a craft beer connoisseur and will never get caught drinking a light beer.
8. Too cool for Fresno
She’s lived in Fresno/The Central Valley all her life yet she hates Fresno and believes she was meant to live in either SF, LA, or NYC. However, she isn’t really doing anything towards her goal of moving out of Fresno. Whenever you do show her something cool in Fresno she compares it something she saw in another city.
A great thing about her is that she is always down to be out of town on the weekend but be warned that you will spend half of the weekend being her own personal Instagram photographer.
9. Young Professional
She’s a college graduate and now is working a full-time job that she’s really proud of. She is passionate about what she does and talks about work a lot. You think she talks about work a bit too much but then you do some introspection and realize you talk about work too much as well. She’s more active on LinkedIn than she is on Facebook or Instagram, however she is pretty active on Twitter because it’s “cool” with professionals.
She is cultured, and appreciates the arts and fine dining. She enjoys attending community events as well as business mixers. She likes meeting other young professionals and will probably only date you if you’ve got your shit together, which is fair. She rarely drinks liquor any more but will never say no to a glass of vino.
10. The right one
She’s the right one for you, the one who makes you smile.
Fresno has some of the coolest, most intelligent, and beautiful women in the world. Don’t be fooled by these semi-satire categories, any type of woman can be the right one.