6. One Noise Did The Trick
My Dad’s story:
He was living in an apartment on the second floor. One night he was woken from slumber from some noise in the living room. Being from Texas, he grabs his shotgun (standard Texas issue when any Texas citizen comes of age) and slowly and silently moves into the living area like a redneck ninja.
He sees the balcony door open and a dude rummaging through the stuff in the darkened living room.
My dad, the badass, says nothing. Does not move. Does not make a peep. He simply cocks his shotgun.
Upon hearing this, the burglar does not turn around. He does not hesitate for a second. He runs through the open door, leaps off the balcony and just starts running when he hits the ground.
I don’t think my dad even bothered to call the cops. I honestly never even thought to ask him if he did.
7. “Fresh Tattoo”
My grandpa (naked, in his late 50’s, fresh tattoo) held a revolver to a robber who was outside their house at night with a shopping cart full of their stuff. Grandma dialed 911, the cops came and pointed spotlights at everything (including him, still naked), and arrested the guy.
8. Grandma Exorcises A Burglar
My great grandma, being the hardcore christian she was, told the robber in a commanding voice, “GO WITH GOD.” The dude freaked and booked it out of there in fear of this old grandma with a Bible. And she did it all from her easy chair.