21 Security Guards Share The Craziest, Most Hilarious Things They’ve Seen On The Job

9. The “Fluke Man”

There’s one awful incident that happened to me when I just started working in casino surveillance. It was about 8pm and I went on a break and in my typical fashion, I walked around the building to get some fresh air. I liked to get away from the cameras and knew a few choice places where I could stand outside that were away from the prying eyes of the CCTV.

So there I was minding my own business, taking a break from it all, when this “kid” approached me who looked like the fluke man from the X-files – he looked about 14, was bald, sickly pale and had sores all over his face. He explained to me that he had cancer in its advanced stages and to look at him you knew it instantly. I was so taken back by how ghastly he looked that when he asked me for some money for food I automatically got out my wallet and gave him about three fiddy… seriously though, I gave him $20 and finished my break.

About 5 minutes into returning from my break a security guard broadcasts over the two-way radio that they need to give medical attention to a minor in the casino. They gave a location, I punched in a camera number and there was my little friend. My co-worker sitting next to me (whose worked surveillance since the casino opened) see’s what I’m seeing and quickly broadcasts that this guy is in fact of legal age, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with him, but he’s banned from the casino and that he uses his appearance to coax money out of fools. So of course with that, the entire surveillance department began reviewing footage of the guy to see which sap gave him the money. So I basically start shitting myself thinking “what the hell have I done, I’ve given money to a banned patron to gamble and now every single person here is gonna find out and I’ll lose my job.” Luckily the spot I took my break in was a blind spot and they never found out.

10. The Fox And The Rabbit

I was standing outside smoking a cigarette before my exterior rounds when I heard this insane screaming. I couldn’t tell what it was but I knew is was some kind of animal in distress. It was quiet for a bit… and then I heard it louder and closer. A few minutes later I see a fox walking around the corner with a (dead) rabbit in it’s mouth. It trotted over to a grassy area, placed the rabbit down, and just stretched out on the grass. Just chilled there for a bit, every once in a while moving his catch around. Right before he decided to leave I swear he looked up at where I was standing (About 20 yards away) and gave me a nod. It’s not the most interesting thing in the world to happen, but just the way it all happened really stuck with me. Also, if you’ve never heard a rabbit scream for it’s life, you don’t know what nightmares are made of.

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