21 Security Guards Share The Craziest, Most Hilarious Things They’ve Seen On The Job

20. Nightmare At The Morgue

I worked as a supervisor for security at a hospital and part of our job was to assist the the funeral homes with the removal of the dead bodies from the morgue so they didn’t take the wrong one. One day I got a call from another security guard for assistance. I get there and they were attempting to roll out a 550lb man on a cart made to haul people no heavier then 300lb.

The wheels broke and this massive corpse rolls under the main trash bin for the hospital near the vehicle they were attempting to load the body into. I call 5 other hospital employees to assist with pulling this body out from under the bin and lift him into the van. Now this is were it gets a little gross.

I was the main person supporting this body as we rolled him into the van because I was fairly used to dead bodies and this one was in a body bag so it wasn’t that bad. We just started to get him into the van and everybody backs away thinking we have him all the way into the vehicle. I know we don’t because the body started to roll back out.

I gripped what I thought was the bag but ended up grabbing skin and torn it away from the body as the body began to roll out on top of me. For those of you that don’t know, body bags are not air/fluid tight. At this point all the fluids leaking from his body where I tore him open and the fluid that came out from him falling off the cart (piss/shit) were now leaking down my neck and into my shirt.

21. Rape Prevention

I was working in the lobby of a Sorority house on campus (all sorority houses at this particular university hired nighttime security due to a certain infamous serial killer breaking into one a few decades back). It was my first night on the job and the house mom (an older lady who lives at the house full time and is essentially a mentor to the girls) told me that there were “absolutely no men” allowed in the house or upstairs. Roger that.

It’s a Friday night and I’m signing girls out left and right as they hit the strip, a total of 80 something girls are out by midnight. 2 AM rolls around and a handful come back and I have to chase off some creepers, no big deal. Around 4 AM, a police car rolls up and the young male officer helps drag a barely conscious and disheveled looking girl into the lobby and tells me he found her like that alone in the McDonalds parking lot. He has a strange look in his eye and proceeds to take her upstairs to “settle her in and make sure she’s safe.”

I tell him no men are allowed upstairs and my client made no exceptions for law enforcement. He says its his job to make sure she’s safe, but I showed him the door. We exchanged some words but he ended up leaving.

Something didn’t seem right about that guy escorting a drunk girl to bed. TC mark

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