11. The Showoff
This guy and this woman were on what appeared to be a first date since they were a little awkward with one another. Well, she was awkward. He was a ball of confidence. And bullshit.
I work at a seafood restaurant, and while I was going over the menu items, he would butt in with ‘facts’ about the meals. He said the Mahi Mahi was a type of dolphin. I said “oh, no, it’s called dolphin fish sometimes, but I assure you, it’s fish!” He said I was wrong and proceeded to tell his poor date it was actual dolphin and he has really fresh cuts of them at his place. Then when looking at our selection of crabs, he mentions he has 10 bags of King Crab legs at his home as well. The entire time he looked in his menu, he either knew everything there was to know about seafood or that he already had ‘fresher, better’ versions at his place.
I thought “seriously? Just go home then.” The lady wasn’t buying any of it and looked like she was going to laugh every time he opened his mouth.
I served a married couple not too long ago. The wife got up to use the restroom twice during the meal. Each time she left, the husband tried to get me to meet him for a drink. He was dead serious. The worst part was when his wife said that I looked exactly like his daughter who was away in college. I threw up a bit in my mouth after that comment.
Not so much a date as it was a celebration. I work at a popular seafood restaurant. I walked up to an 8 top and ask what brought them out this evening, and one guest says “it’s my father’s birthday.” I look around the table trying to pick out the father and can’t, so I say ” ah, so who’s the birthday boy?” I’m met with a pause and a response of “He’s no longer with us…” I backed away slowly to get bread and drinks.
I was only bussing tables at the time, but overheard an awkward situation for my coworker who was serving them.
It was definitely a couple. Definitely a date. And the woman is not into it. Not sure why cause the guy seemed nice enough, but whatever. She’s just not feeling it. She was, however enjoying her server, David. To be fair, Dave was gorgeous and sweet and funny and all the girls at work said he was sploosh worthy. This woman agreed. I’m cleaning the table right by them when Dave asked if they wanted dessert.
The woman reached over, took Dave’s wrist, and purred “If you’ll share it with me. You bite mine and I’ll bite yours.” Right in front of her date. Dave awkwardly laughed, I nearly lost my shit, and the poor date just sat there.
Later, I went to clean the table, I saw she left Dave her phone number. Laughing, I gave it to him. He threw it out.
I wasn’t waiting on this table, just sitting next to it. This guy kept saying all this forward stuff to his date, and she was just trying to hide her face in her menu. He would say things like “Once this date is over I am going to show you the nasty!” Poor girl. Anyways she eventually just got up and left while he was in the bathroom. I could have sworn she sprinted out of that Japanese steakhouse, you could hear her breaths of relief as she made it out of the doorway.