“When guys pull their wallets out of their back pocket while sitting down, they always make a strange, grimacing face while they struggle to get it out. 100% of the time.”
“I’m surprised no one has said not washing bed sheets for long periods of time. I know a lot of girls who thinks it’s gross to not wash your sheets every two weeks and a lot of guys who go months without washing them.”
“I find it fascinating how most guys can bond over hating each other’s interests.
Like sports teams or musicians. They’ll almost bash each other’s skulls in over how bad the others’ team’s players are, but then afterwards they actually want to see each other again and are weirdly satisfied.”
“The pants slap. Whenever they leave the house they slap their pockets to make sure their wallet and phone are there. Every single guy I know does this.”
“Not something they don’t realize but like men take SO LONG to poop? I don’t understand. What is going on in there? Do you fall in? Is it like a Narnia situation?”
“A female friend of mine claimed she noticed that guys have a tendency to queue up thoughts in their head before saying them.
She claims that she’ll say something to a guy while he’s very much concentrating on something and he will apparently ignore her for several full seconds before blurting out a response as if the task of responding has reached the front of some queue, perhaps on a timesharing system as if on a computer.
She asked me if that’s what was going on in my head and I said that I thought it was a pretty good approximation.
She doesn’t think women do this, but I have not asked anyone else so I don’t know if it’s true.”
“The weird faces they make when playing video games, especially when they’re like stuck somewhere or rapid firing.”
“They all like turtles and dinosaurs. When asked why, they answer ‘they’re cool.'”
“Lower their voice by an octave when talking to their dad on the phone. Most of my male friends and SO also mysteriously speak with a stronger/more stereotypically blokey accent when speaking to their dad, which I mostly put down to growing up in rural Australia.”
“They don’t admit to being buzzed or drunk unless they’re wasted.”
“When they burp and then blow.”
“Pulling their shirts over their head by the neck hole to take them off.”
“Sticking your hand down your pants when watching tv. Not to jerk off or anything, but I know so many guys who put their hand just under the waistband of their pants while they’re sitting on the couch.
Do your hands get cold super easily? Are you just compelled to have your hands close to your dick just in case? What is it?”
“I’ve never met a man who didn’t keep large amounts of change around in his room in some form. Either in a bucket or scattered around the floor. I know a guy who falls asleep on his change and it falls off him in the shower, so the shower is also full of money.”
“When they don’t know each other but are thrown into a social situation together (like a double date), they instantly become besties and have a sort of secret bro-handshake every guy seems to know.”
“When giving another man a hug you hit them on the back exactly three times.
“Asking how long they need to put something in the microwave.”
“The awkward-crab sideways step. We know you’re trying to unstick your balls from your thigh.”