“It was terrible. I had waited, but he had one partner before me. He had downplayed how much of a freak she was when we discussed his previous experiences. So, on my wedding night when I thought I would be able to shower, get relaxed and romantically ease into things with my new husband, he was ripping my veil off and rushing me into the sack. Less than an hour later he was trying to masturbate me with various wedding gifts (and they weren’t vibrators).
I definitely wouldn’t wait again. He turned out to have such diverse sexual tastes from myself that we were never able to get past it. After eight years, we’re divorcing.
His first experience was with a bi-sexual woman who was heavily into BDSM, so he pretty much started out at an advanced level. Once they broke up, he decided he really liked that sexual lifestyle and (as has been revealed throughout the divorce process – he’s finally being honest) thoroughly explored it through porn and self-experimentation. He’s now in a relationship with someone who loves that kind of thing. And I’m in the market for someone who can give me a little more fire and a little less pain.
Make sure you’re compatible, people!”
“Wife and I waited until marriage and it was a long time. Started dating at the end of ’02, got married in the summer of ’08. It was a choice on both our parts that I do not regret for one second!
Anyway, it was not awkward for either of us, but it was very painful for me (believe it or not, I’m the guy, not the girl in this story). We were best friends and very comfortable with each other since we had known each other so long.
Anyway, we were headed in a limo to our hotel after the wedding. After some friendly chatting with the limo driver and then some champagne toasting, we made the decision to put up the privacy shield and start having some fun! We were doing some fooling around and I guess you could say that I lost my virginity there, but I really wanted to wait until we got to our hotel room for the amazing, romantic explosion that I always imagined it would be.
Worst. Mistake. Ever.
In VERY little time I knew I couldn’t really handle any more of just fooling around, and we decided to stop until we got to the hotel. Within minutes of stopping, my balls started to ache something fierce! I had heard of blue balls, but I never thought it would be like this. It felt like my nuts were slowly being crushed in a vice and this wave of pain started in my yamsack and slowly spread through my lower abdomen. My then bride, in all her wisdom, said that it might be better to just finish then and go again when we got to the hotel, but I was pretty stubborn about being in bed the first time. It was a horrible 45 minutes to get the rest of the way to our hotel.
When we got there, I was aching so bad that I was literally hobbling into the hotel. My poor wife was carrying more and bigger bags than I was where I had just one wheely bag (I had also accidently stepped on her bare toe earlier in the night dancing… she’s a champ!). The concierge looked at me funny when checking in, but I really could not have cared less at that moment.
We get up to the room (I couldn’t carry her across the threshold, much less one measly bag on wheels and another very painful bag in my pants). We immediately go at it. It’s over in about 2 minutes. Biggest, most painful load of my life. She was amazing and sympathetic and about 15 minutes later I was ready to go again and we had a much longer, funner (it’s a word!) sexy time the second time around. The next two weeks were bliss and I very much made up for my 22 years of virginity.”
“Both virgins, dated in high-school, got married after college at 22, and been married for 5 years. Honestly, we didn’t have sex. I mean, yes we had sex later, just not that night. We cuddled, made out, and did things we had already done. We got completely naked (for the first time). Within a few nights, we were on track. Yes, it took time for both of us to build up some stamina but things are pretty damn solid now.
Moral of the story? You are going to have to ‘learn’ how to have good sex no matter what. Why not do so with someone you love and have a real commitment to? This is not to say that pre-marital sex is a “bad” thing. Just that people hype random shit way too much.”