26. Let’s See What They Say First

When I’m typing out a message in instant messenger, if it gives me a notification that whoever I’m messaging with is typing, I erase what I was typing and wait for the message from the other person.

27. Imagining Crashes

While driving at high speeds I often wonder what exactly would happen if I just swerved off the road. Would I die? Would my car flip? What injuries would I sustain if I survived?

28. Lazy Hypochondria 

I’ll have a sharp pain somewhere, or feel slightly off about something going on with my body and immediately jump to the worst, lethal conclusion that this could be a symptom of.

Despite being almost absolutely convinced that I’m dying, I don’t get it checked and hope it just goes away.

It usually does.

29. Is This The Beginning Of The End?

Quote from Catch 22…

“One of the things [Yossarian] wanted to start screaming about was the surgeon’s knife that was almost certain to be waiting for him and everyone else who lived long enough to die. He wondered often how he would ever recognize the first chill, flush, twinge, ache, belch, sneeze, stain, lethargy, vocal slip, loss of balance or lapse of memory that would signal the inevitable beginning of the inevitable end.”

Fuckin’ ruined my life that quote. Now it can ruin yours >:)