I wrote an article previously about things women never have to deal with that men deal with all the time. Now I want to share all the things women go through that men don’t know about.
Men do have breasts, but not big enough that you have to wear a special type of clothing garment to keep them from bouncing everywhere. Of course, breasts bouncing don’t sound so bad, but when it happens all day it starts to hurt. The strain on a woman’s back develops from these bouncing breasts; is when it becomes unbearable. Many women end up having back pain, shoulder pain, neck pain, a lot of pain. Men will never have to deal with wearing a bra in 90 degree weather, when you feel sweat pooling in your bra, or getting strap scars on your shoulders, or dealing with straps being too loose that it keeps falling off the shoulders. Bras equal instant annoyance and irritation, but yet without them it’s also tough. After wearing bras half my life I am used to it; and sometimes I feel naked without a bra, it’s just too weird. Then dealing with the insane prices for buying bras and always wondering if you are wearing the right size is another struggle.
2. Long Hair
Now, not all men have short hair. I have a male friend whose hair is longer than mine. But I could never let my hair be like his hair. His hair is in its natural form, all frizzy, just flying, but it looked fine on him. If I went in public with my hair in its natural form, I would look like I just woke up, was a hobo, or as if I escaped a psychiatric ward/asylum.
Men don’t know about hair straighteners, how they magically transform my blob of hair into sleek pin straight hair lusciousness. I can leave my hair in its natural form after I comb it out, braid it down for the night, and then I end up with soft wavy hair. Either way it still takes a bit of work. Men will never understand the struggle, the danger, and risk we take with using chemicals, heat, and crazy tactics to get our hair tamed.
The annoying and most unnecessary pain is shaving. I personally don’t even bother during winter time to shave much. I’m not going to try to worry about something that is for societal norms and acceptance. Why do women have to shave their legs???? I don’t know why? I can understand shaving armpits and the private area, it is important to stay clean hygiene-wise. But I don’t get the legs? Why? I have hair on my arms, I know plenty of women do, and they don’t shave it. So if that is okay, then why shave legs or thighs? If women would walk around in skirts and be happy with hairy legs, than men would have no choice but to accept it.
Men will never have to deal with this unnecessary grooming of shaving everything. Dealing with it growing back is even worse, with the bumps, itchiness, especially if you already have dry or sensitive skin, then the cuts… It’s too much! Then there are also waxing and other hair removal products some women use; which is even worse. Imagine removing hair from your whole body as a daily routine. I know there are men that shave everywhere too, but if they don’t, it’s no big deal. But if a woman were to be hairy everywhere, it’s considered disgusting and dirty??
This is the most messed up and horrendous part of being a woman; a pain we have to have to be a woman. I always wondered why couldn’t God or whoever made humans have a different method for letting a woman know she is not pregnant. For instance, why couldn’t it be that a woman’s thumb turns blue when she needs to know she is not pregnant? Every month for a few days my thumb turns blue, I can live with that. Why do we women have to bleed from our private areas just to tell us we aren’t pregnant??? It doesn’t even make sense. Not only are we told we are the weaker humans constantly, but then we bleed from our vaginas and have to give birth from there too. How are women weaker?? Not only do we bleed, but the cramps and more back pain, nausea, diarrhea, anything basically that makes you feel like crap can happen. But it is all normal as a part of the menstruation cycle, how sick and twisted is that?? Women have to deal with work, school, family, just like everyone else and while going through their period at the same time.
The sudden mood swings, emotions, hormones flying everywhere, is another normal part of menstruation. I never cry as a woman. It takes a lot for me to actually shed a tear. But when I am on my period, I can look at my cat grooming her paw and I will cry a river. I find a penny on the floor and I may cry. It is pretty scary especially crying for no reason. I have plenty of those moments where I literally am trying to figure out why I am crying??? I’m not sure if men ever go through this, but if you do please don’t hide it, we women will cry with you.
5. Being Told Women are the Weaker Species
I have to deal with being told I am weaker because I am a woman. Men never have to deal with the sexist remarks constantly; feeling like they are not good enough because of their gender. Constantly, I have to prove that I can o just as much as a man, and if I don’t it’s because I am a woman. It is expected that I will fail. Knowing there are some career paths I can’t really do because not a lot of women are in it, like military, police force, fire fighters, pilots, engineers, CEOS, football players… etc. Even if there are women in these fields they have to work so hard to get the chance and even then it’s a slim chance.
Thankfully, I haven’t had to deal with sexism too much. But when I am expected to be weak, and it is a surprise to men when I can pick up heavy things and defend myself…it is too ridiculous. I still wish there was a women’s football team; I find it so unfair. I know I would join that team; I can throw a ball pretty far. I can tackle someone down, no problems with that. Men are physically stronger by nature, maybe it used to be like that, but times are changing. Women are physically strong in their own way too. Men lack certain strength that women have. If you kick a man in his balls, he can die. Kick a woman in her vagina, she will walk it off. We give birth from there, so how bad can it get?? Why men are seen as the stronger species, I never understand. Is it because their balls are the most sensitive part of their bodies???
6. Being told to be Lady-Like
When you are a girl, people tell you how you should act as a woman. I was told how to dress more lady-like. I don’t wear skirts much; I tie my hair a lot. But if I do wear dresses and I do my hair, it’s also stereotyping that I am too feminine? Women are described as delicate, dainty, and soft, like flowers basically. Honestly, women are almost the total opposite of that. The amount of cussing I do in my head is insane as compared to how much I actually cuss (which is regularly).
I have had male friends say they don’t like when women cuss. It only makes me want to cuss more. I have some pretty violent thoughts, maybe it is my New York mentality, but I am pretty hardcore for a woman. I was a bit of a tomb-boy as a child and still am as an adult woman. I prefer wearing sneakers. I don’t mind dressing up sometimes, but I don’t do it to be a lady. Women have flaws, we are hairy, we poop, and we fart. We got scars. We can be dirty and sweaty. Why do men make it seem like us women are some mythical creatures from Narnia, I will never understand. We got blood, muscle, and bones just like men. My choice of not wearing a dress won’t change the fact that I have a vagina and am still a woman. Or that if I wear a dress it doesn’t mean I am weak and made of glass.
I know how to cook and I clean only because my mother raised me that way, because I am a girl. My brother cannot even cook an egg. He never cleans, and my mother never taught him to do any of it. My mother many times will ask me to cook something for my brother or to clean up the house. Now I know most of my male cousins and uncles cook and clean just as much as the women in the house. But somehow it is automatically expected that a woman naturally knows how to cook or clean. Or how a woman is expected to change her last name when she marries, move to wherever her husband lives, and leave her whole family and life behind.
Then she is also expected to stay at home and watch the children, after sacrificing so much and giving birth. All the mean while, she still has to get her period, dress like a lady, not cuss, wear bras, and deal with long hair on her head, but yet shave the rest from her body… Oh and walk around in heels.
7. Giving Birth
Men will never know what it is like giving birth. I don’t have any children, but I have the constant nagging of my mother telling me I need to get married and have babies. I have to worry about being pregnant if I don’t get my period. Men will never have that problem, although they may deal with the news of being a father in a similar way. Men can still choose to not be a part of their child’s life (not sure why this is considered okay?). But in most cultures the child bearing falls onto the mother. The father is not involved, people expect it. The mother is not involved, she is a bad mother. Both parents should equally be involved. A woman’s body changes permanently and so does her life. Men will never know what that feels like, to put your life to a screeching halt for another human being that you created… Then the worst is when there are women out there who choose not to have children and are considered “selfish” for not reproducing. But when a man decides to not have children it’s completely fine, nobody even cares.
8. Weight and Aging
Women are always worried about their weight, how skinny they are or if they are curvy enough. I also am constantly trying to find a way to lose weight, but for me it’s more about fitness and being healthier. I know I am medically overweight, it’s not just me being insecure. I have gained plenty of weight due to my unhealthy eating habits. I was not always the way I look now. But then there are women who are already skinny, who have no health issues at all, and are still trying so hard to lose weight. I especially hate when they complain and call themselves fat! These girls are skinnier than me and I feel like a whale compared to them. It almost seems as though us women have been brainwashed to believe that no matter what we are; we are fat, or just not good enough.
Media is to blame. People don’t realize how fake the media is. Celebrities are being checked on with hair stylists and make-up artists all the time. Celebrities always look good on camera and in (photo shopped) magazines. Also, they have money to make them look like a million bucks. So we “average” women should really be calling ourselves “mythical creatures from Narnia” because we can look just as good with minimum wage jobs and drug store make-up products, using our own hair styling skills and make-up skills.
Then with age a woman getting older makes her less desirable, but men still can get very young girls to want them even after they are in their mid-40s to even the age of 50 years. I find that the next generation does look younger, such as myself. I know I still have to show my ID at some places because I guess I don’t look like I am older than 21 years? My face I know is kind of innocent looking so maybe that’s why? But I know there will be a time when I will look older, and that is life. Men and women, even animals age. Ofcourse, men deal with old age as well, but somehow it is so much more noticeable on women. So maybe the whole concept of women being old as an ugly or unattractive thing might change with the new generation.
As far as I know, most shoes for men have no heels. At most maybe there is half an inch for men’s’ black boots. There are women out there that walk in 5-6 inch heels for fun. I have worn shoes with 3-4 inch heels at most, and I wore it all night despite the blistering pain after. It is weird how most of the things women do has a lot of physical pain.
The phrase beauty is pain, is definitely no lie. I once wore shoes that were relatively comfortable, they were 3 inch heels. I danced in those shoes, and throughout the night my toes were starting to numb. I did not know this until I came home and took off my shoes, only to see my toes were purple. My toes were bleeding from the nails. So for many months my toenails were purple because of the blood that had dried inside. The only way for it to disappear was when I trimmed my nails, so I had to wait for it to grow out with the nail. I had to paint my toe nails a beige nail polish because it grossed me out and I didn’t want anyone to freak out from seeing my toe nails either.
Maybe, guys can see how tough it really is to be a woman. It is not easy to do what we do and look good, but yet women do it every day.