In our countless attempts to stay away from each other, I realized that there’s more to us than what I — among other people — think. I was wrong to not share to the world your side of the spectrum. Yes, I may have looked like the opposite of the upper hand, but I was the one who put myself in that position. I was constantly punishing myself for not moving on, and closing my eyes to all the opportunities that made its way to me. I didn’t bother enjoying all the things that life had to offer for my individual growth because my eyes were locked on what I wanted. Yes, that was you.
It was a push and pull kind of thing, you and me. You push me away, I pull you back — it goes on conversely. And I was foolish to overlook the fact that everything has its limits. We were like a rubber-band stretched until broken. We have had too much, yet we kept on trying to make it work.
I knew you had your fair share of moments when you wanted to leave for good, but I kept on asking you to stay. I’m sorry I never gave you room to grow when you needed it. Bottom line is I was selfish. For this and a lot more, I am truly sorry.
For all the times you ran away, I always hoped you’d take a glimpse back at me, and see everything you’re leaving behind. For all those moments that you did take that move, I am thankful. But I don’t think I have thanked you enough.
I will always be thankful for you coming into my life. For making me desire to be a better version of myself every time I disappoint. For always telling me there’s more to life than all the challenges fate threw at me. And that every moment I crumble, someone will always help me up. Again, that was you.
To the common critiques of our relationship, we’re on a dead lock. But everyone needs to understand that every relationship is unique, as are the people in it. There might be similarities, but never the exact same. They can judge, but they will never understand why we do what we do. I don’t need for them to believe it, but I need at least you to do so.
I may have learned the hard way, and it may be too late, but this I know; you own yourself. And I, me. That whatever adhesive remedy I put between us, I just couldn’t keep you like that. That I don’t have to beg for you to stick with me through whatever because you’d do it yourself had I given you the right space to realize that. You deserve to live your life freely, with or without me.
It’s true that from here on out, things probably won’t be the same. But I am willing to fall in love again with a different person in the form of you and our good memories together. I was always told to fight for what I know was worth it. And I’m sorry to repeat it again, but to me, that’s you.