Yes and No Chart On Deciding If Someone Is Dateable On Grindr


1. Does he have a picture?

YES – Go to question 2

NO – Creeeeeepy.

2. Is he showing a face?

YES – Go to question 3

NO – Don’t waste your time. #aintnobodygottimeforthat

3. Is he fully clothed?

YES – Go to question 4

NO – Go to question 5

4. Is he looking for dates/relationships?

YES – Go to question 6

NO – This one’s a bit obvious.

5. Is he looking for chat/friends?

YES – Yeah, don’t kid yourself.

NO – Go to question 6

6. Does he have a description?

YES – Go to question 7

NO – Don’t waste your time with a guy who doesn’t make it clear what he wants, hook-up or not.

7. Is his description void of anything sexually explicit/implicit?

YES – Go to question 8

NO – I highly doubt he’s THAT big. PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN.

8. Did he respond to your message?

YES – Go to question 9

NO – Not interested, and most likely just wanted to bang. It’s a meat market, after all.

9. Was his response “hey”, “hi”, “what’s up”, “you looking”?

YES – Oooh, sorry bro.

NO – Go to question 10

10. Did you actually sustain a conversation that was completely void of talk about sex?

YES – Go to question 11

NO – Hahaha, so you’re telling me he said WHAT again??

11. Does he continue pestering you after your conversation ends?


NO – Go to question 12

12. Does he message you again at a non-late, pre-midnight time of the day?

YES – Go to question 13

NO – He’s definitely just looking to bang past midnight. Trust me.

13. Were phone numbers exchanged?

YES – Go to question 14

NO – Bummer! Guess the feels weren’t mutual!

14. Does he sound very non-creepy to you on the phone and makes you feel comfortable? (Yes, you should have at least ONE phone conversation before you actually meet the guy)

YES – Go to question 15


15. Have you been communicating on the phone for longer than a week and genuinely enjoying the talks?

YES – ASK HIM OUT. TOTES worth a try if you made it this far! Congrats!

NO – Talk to him for a bit longer and speculate intentions. If you’re not really feeling it, friendzone him, ignore his texts, or gradually begin to seem disinterested in what he says. TC Mark

Emmanuel is moving to New York City. He likes to think, write, and design. Follow him @emmanuelcoloma.

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