This is a conversation I think I have or at least overhear at least once a month:
Male: My buddy Ryan is going to be there.
Me: Is Ryan cute?
Male: I don’t know how to answer that.
Male: My friend Alex is single now.
Me: Is Alex hot?
Male: I can’t tell that sort of thing.
The only conclusion I can draw from this is that there is a strange phenomenon occurring in the male species where their ability to utilize their vision all of a sudden comes to a halt when judging the physical appeal of another man. This has to be the only explanation, because why else would any given man, living in a society which entirely emphasizes the importance of good looks, completely forget how to judge such a thing when he sees someone of his own gender? It’s not a difficult question. The female is literally asking if the male has an appealing face or body composition. If you’ve ever stepped outside, you have to know what an attractive man looks like. If you’ve ever been insecure about any one of your physical features, you know what an attractive man looks like. Confirming another man is aesthetically pleasing will not magically make you gay. Similarly, confirming such a thing will not somehow lead others to think you’re less attractive. It’s okay to say, “Yeah, he’s pretty good looking,” because after all, I did just ask. So just answer the simple question before I become overly curious about Ryan or Alex and have you set me up on a blind date with someone who, as it turns out, is a little less attractive than, “I can’t tell.”