A Horny Girl’s Defense On Porn, And How It Does NOT Kill Your Love Life

From between the ages of say, six to… entirely too old… I liked to hump things. Yes you read that correctly. Daddy’s little princess would often be found rubbing herself against chairs and tables. (My parents referred to it as the “boppin thing”) I didn’t know what I was doing of course, just that it felt good to me. Eventually my mom became concerned that it wasn’t just a phase, and that I would start humping things in public. Can’t blame her, I probably would have.

I never received the birds and the bees talk. In fact, the first time I heard the term “masturbation” was in the eighth grade from my outspoken catholic school teacher. To which I remember thinking, “oh is that what I’ve been doing all this time!?” Sex was looked at as a shameful act, and abstinence was the only thing I’d ever been taught growing up.

And, abstinence is all well and good if it’s for you.

But it wasn’t for me.

Even before I knew what it was, I had an interest in sex. Curious by nature I would ask questions, and when I did not receive a response I felt was adequate enough I turned to the internet for answers.

Hello porn, nice to meet you.

I believe it was sixth grade I stumbled upon my first experience with videos online I felt “excited” by. With my traditional parents just in the other room I would watch soft-core videos on YouTube with the sound off. It was during this time I also learned the importance of clearing your browsing history. Which I still do to this day even though I own my own computer, so I guess old habits die hard.

One of the most frequent arguments someone anti-porn will say is that once you start, you become almost immune to what previously would get you off, forcing you to delve deeper into more hardcore versions to achieve the same level of arousal. And speaking from experience, yes this is true to an extent. The images that would excite me in middle school, and even high school, would not excite me as much if I were to watch them now. But that is not to say I turned to sub genres that I was uncomfortable with.

A follow up argument that often goes along with the subject matter is the matter of frequency. How much is too much? I can say there were times I did feel like I watched porn too often- daily, sometimes multiple times a day. But then there were also times I would go weeks without it.

Now to question at hand. Does porn kill love? I’d have to say that people who blame porn when their relationships and marriages fail, also fail to take responsibility themselves. Your sex life is not unsatisfying because your husband watches porn. Your husband watches porn because your sex life is unsatisfying. Women (and I’m sure men in some aspects as well) often think their partner is comparing them to the actors they watch online. Porn lacks emotional attachment. I’d venture to guess your real life relationship lacks emotional attachment as well if you find yourself fighting for your partner’s attention on a daily basis. There are underlying issues forcing you two apart, and the lack of intimacy is not due to porn, it is due to a lack of intimacy. Read that again. Intimacy is not just in the bedroom; it is the way you look at each other, the way only that one person knows your hidden birth mark, or how you got that scar on your cheek. Sex is easy; you can get it from anyone. True intimacy can come from only one person.

Is it possible to become addicted to porn so much so that is conflicts with your real life relationships? Of course, as with anything there is a line to healthy vs excessive. But it is possible to have a healthy relationship with porn and with a partner. That’s right, YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL!

I watch porn to fulfill fantasies I would not normally partake in, in waking life. I watch porn to get new ideas of things to try with someone whom I fantasize about in waking life. And I watch porn because, well, I enjoy it. And while I may watch it more when I am single than when I am taken, it has never once detracted from a relationship I’ve been in. Because while triple D’s and ten inch members are fun, the intimacy with someone you can feel will win every time.