It’s true that love often makes you go crazy. And while I’ve heard stories of a friend of friends throwing beer bottles around her ex’s room, breaking them against the walls and so forth, my level of crazy was what I would deem normal. It mostly consisted of harsh words and raging hormones. I must also let you know, that although these hormones led to some terrible thoughts, they stayed as thoughts, and there was no hair pulling involved in the process. And though I didn’t physically tear my ex to shreds, every piece inside of me had the urge to.
See, breakups come in different phases. The first phase for me was denial. Finding out about his “secret romance” was insane to me. I denied everything, and couldn’t let myself even think about it. I just set in my dorm room and stared at the walls, (probably the beginning of my “bat shit crazy phase” or in other words, my anger phase). But throughout all of these phases, something always stuck- he was going to come running, sprinting back to me. He just needed a break you tell yourself. He will miss what he left you say.
But I do like to believe that time does heal all wounds, even those wounds that feel like they may never heal. Time passes and the level of your craziness decreases by the day, you start to level out, reason with yourself, and reflect. Eventually, you reach the phase- coming to terms with reality.
I don’t want to mislead you to believe that the tears ended at this phase because they didn’t. You will probably cry a tear or two, or if you’re like me, cry enough to refill the entire Nile River. I was still pretty upset. Upset in every way. Infuriated and heartbroken. Yet, I finally reached a point in which I could begin to put the pieces together. You realize that there’s a very good chance he won’t come back to you. And it’s not to say he won’t, but you can’t live your life expecting something that may never happen. Maybe he really hurt you, and maybe you want him to come back to you just so that you can stand up on your two feet, look him dead in the eyes, and say no. I’m not going to lie, that would be a great feeling, to give him a sliver of what you felt when he hurt you, but then what? What does it change? In other words, you can’t live your life based on someone else because when it comes down to it, it’s only hurting you in the end. It’s only taking away from your happiness.
So allow yourself to be sad for some time. Be angry! It’s okay to be angry. But then get your ass out of that bed. Realize that as much as it sucks, you cannot live a life waiting on a guy to come chasing back to you. Go life YOUR life! I think all of us that have been in this position know by now that girl, you deserve it.