The Truth Behind Kim Kardashian’s ‘Selfish’ Failure

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Pregnancy lips 💋

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I really think we just don’t like Kim Kardashian.

Kim Kardashian has tried to claim the selfie and she’s failed. But this shouldn’t come as much of a surprise. Despite the fact that she is the epitome of the root word and all words self-, the self made sex tape entrepreneur has only heightened the dirty taste in our mouths.

You can argue all you want on how powerful and media-lady of the night she is, but it just boils down to a privileged spoiled brat who’s ass is as big as her ego, and clinically concerning.

First of all, we are not in a post-selfie age and should stop trying to give ourselves credit where it is not due because:

  1. We still take them.
  2. The selfie-stick is at an all time high necessity and has replaced all human to human contact. Remember the days we asked another person standing at the scenic view to take our picture?
  3. They make us feel too good about our insecure selves to stop.

With this being said, what are some of the obvious reasons why Kim Kardashian’s book sales were dismal?

1.

Like I said, we just don’t like her.

2.

If we can already see the couple hundreds of selfies she posts on her social media, why on Earth would we purchase them? (in a book no less).

3.

Moreover from the fact that books are of ancient ruin to this generation, we’ve grown up on illegally downloading whatever we want on the Internet. Many displeased reviews said most of the selfies in the book had already appeared online. Give it a month or two and Kim’s Selfie book will be vulnerably available to our shit talking pleasure fo’ free.

4.

It is kind of impressive she sold 32,000 copies at all, even though it only represents .08% of her 41 million Instagram followers (myself included). It also has had more success than attempted books from Kris and Kendall and Kylie. She should be congratulated on at least that much. But how many selfies are of her butt? Probably not enough.

5.

10,000 copies are most likely in boxes sitting in her garage behind the Escalade (Cartier limited edition) and another 5,000 next to Kanye’s mirrors, and another 1,000 in storybook form read to North every night before bed.

6.

Perhaps a vast majority of those who didn’t buy her book have seen her sex tape, therefore anticipating another disappointment and another awful blow job. I watched her sex tape, and it only solidified my opinion of her: bored. But if you want to watch a great romcom sex tape, Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee’s has everything: sex, laughter, love, and a penis honking a horn. But I digress.

7.

Why would anyone buy a book titled Selfish and give their money to one of the most selfish and wealthiest “celebrities” out there? We fought back by not encouraging this kind of behavior, Kimberly Noel.

8.

Given that the book costs $9.97, a reasonable price to gape at its atrocity then shelf it in the back of your starving library, you could also use that money to purchase an expensive latte, use it to tip your waitress, or to buy almost two gallons of gas!

9.

Where does one even find a bookstore these days?

We love to hate her, she’s hilarious and has the ugliest cry face. But being that Justin Bieber and Kanye aren’t pushing books with solely pictures of themselves and they’re in the same inflated sense of self category, Kim Kardashian has taken the cake cake cake cake on this one. So thank you for the great gag gift and RIP to the trees who died for this. TC mark

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