You’re dating a new guy. He seems to be perfect, and you two fit together like pieces of a puzzle. He takes you on dates and you two have amazing sex. Everything is going so well. That’s GREAT! Slowly, without even noticing, you start spending every waking moment with said guy, and your girlfriends get placed on the back burner. Next thing you know, Mr. Perfect ends up just being another loser with a girlfriend back home and you’re alone in your apartment watching Sex and the City reruns, eating cold mediocre Chinese food and drowning your sorrows in the cheapest wine the liquor store had.
It’s been two whole months since you last saw your friends, and you’re dreading the “take me back, I’ve been a horrible best friend” apologetic phone call. I unfortunately have learned this lesson the hard way. However, over time I have come to learn that true best friends will always be there for you at the end of the day, crying with you, eating that cold mediocre Chinese food and matching you shot for shot with tequila.
In the end, that solid group of best friends you have will always be there for you no matter what. They will be the ones picking you up and brushing you off and dragging you out for drinks to throw you back into the dating pool. They’re going to be the one to listen to you go on about your ex for months after the breakup. They’re the ones who force you to delete old pictures and throw out old sentimental items when you can’t. They’re going to be the one to give you the biggest reality checks when you need it. Best friends will be the ones helping you put the pieces together after all is said and done. As for those boyfriends…well, they’re banging some new chick and calling you crazy.
Do yourself a favor and just marry your best friend, honestly.
Best friends ALWAYS come back to you. Boyfriends will just find some new girl to bring to family and company holiday parties.
Best friends won’t judge you when you go to McDonalds drive-thru after a night out drinking and you order the whole menu. Boyfriends probably won’t even bring you to McDonalds (dicks…).
Best friends can lay in bed and just snuggle you. Boyfriends are always poking you with their damn dicks.
Best friends will have dinner alone with your family. Boyfriends need to be dragged and shackled to the chair in order to have dinner with you and your family.
Best friends will never judge you and your crazy mood swings. Boyfriends will wonder why they are dating a psychopath, and after you break up will tell everyone you’re crazy.
Best friends will never forget your birthday, or the day you two officially became best friends. Boyfriends will need to have you remind them the weeks coming up to special occasions that he does indeed need to get you at least a card, or “Yes, we really do need to celebrate our three week anniversary.”
Best friends can share their clothes, makeup, shoes and more with you. Boyfriends only let you wear their hoodies, will probably always be little bitches about getting it back, and can never offer you one of their cute new dresses to wear out to dinner.
Best friends are always prepared with feminine products whenever mother nature surprises you. Boyfriends can barely figure out where a tampon goes, let alone go pick you up the right ones for you.
Best friends will listen to you whine about all the random things you hate. Boyfriends will pretend to listen to your problems, while in reality their full attention is towards the video game their playing.
Best friends have inside jokes, songs, movies, hangout spots, and more with you – all which will never go out of style. Boyfriends will break your heart and make you despise every place you had ever ventured to together, or songs he sang too loud or certain type of flowers.
Best friends will forgive you for sleeping with their hot cousin David. Boyfriends apparently don’t like that so much.
Best friends will binge watch Pretty Little Liars and Gossip Girl with you. Boyfriends make you watch horrible action movies staring Tom Cruise.
Best friends will appreciate your go-to Cheese Whiz joke and encourage you with a bold laugh when you go to tell it. Boyfriends will roll their eyes and make you feel like the high school version of Monica Gellar from Friends when you try to tell the joke to their friends.
Best friends will like all your selfies and just about everything you post to all your social media. They’ll even comment motivational compliments on your really banging selfies. Boyfriends will only like things you tag them in (if you’re lucky). However, they seem to find time to like every single selfie that hot-girl-from-work posts.
Best friends will talk about the future with you. They’ll plan out every single detail of the babies you’ll have (at the same time of course), the types of houses you’ll both have (on the same street of course), and what kind of career you both want (they have to be in walking distance of each other of course). Boyfriends will quiver at the word ‘marriage’. They will go to great distances to ignore the engagement ring pictures you send to them every day. They also tend to go partially deaf when you mention that your friend Sally just had a baby, and maybe you two should have one too.
Best friends won’t break your heart, make you bitter and cynical or leave you with major trust issues. Boyfriends need to come with a warning label that states that they will most definitely leave you broken hearted, bitter and cynical with fucked up trust issues.