1. Most Played Song: Breezeblocks by Alt J
He wasn’t always a hipster but since graduating college and moving to the big city, he’s traded his beer-stained baggy jeans for slightly skinnier ones, not yet ready to commit to full fledged hipsterdom with a pair of actual skinny jeans. Ignoring the weather he wears an open plaid flannel shirt over his T-shirt every day, and pairs them with a newfound sense of superiority. He also just discovered Vampire Weekend.
2. Most Played Song: The A Team by Ed Sheeran
She wears high-wasted jean shorts with little flowers printed on them and white Keds. Her favorite thing to accessorize with is a takeaway coffee cup from a local/independent café. She doesn’t go to Starbucks, not during daylight hours at least, and she prides herself on “not being basic anymore” (even though she still totally is). She predominantly uses 8tracks for her music consumption, most enjoying the playlists with the ‘indie’ or ‘love’ tags.
3. Most Played Song: Banana Pancakes by Jack Johnson
Easily recognizable via his puka shell necklace. He doesn’t live anywhere near a coast and chances are good that the closest body of water is a small lake a 3-hour drive north. That doesn’t stop him from saying gnarly and wearing flip-flops 9 months of the year. His favorite band is Coconut Records because their sound evokes that California vibe he’s so all about. All jokes aside, he’s a nice dude and you seriously hopes he makes it to the beach one day.
4. Most Played Song: I Will Wait by Mumford and Sons
She wears Vintage with a capital V. Just so you know for certain they aren’t your average thrift store threads and that she did, in fact, pay $50.00+ for each article of already used clothing, she pairs each outfit with a pearl necklace. It’s a single strand, and they are real. Even just glance at them and she’ll smile, toss her hair, and say, “They’re real, you know. They were a gift.” She’s been a fan of City and Colour since they started touring stadiums but she swears she’s loved Mumford and Sons since their first album. You suspect that she is more of a bandwagon jumper than driver; even her outfits, after all, have been previously worn.
5. Most Played Song: Thrift Shop by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis
On a regular day, this particular bro is pretty nondescript. Come festival season, however, this is That Guy wearing a Native American headdress. It’s hard to tell if he is insensitive or just oblivious to the fact that he’s an equal mix of offensive, racist, and obnoxious. He says he likes all music but you wouldn’t know it because he spent the whole festival either passed out or too drunk to actually hear any.
6. Most Played Song: Blue Jeans by Lana Del Rey
She’s the girl pouting in the flower crown that hasn’t looked up from her phone yet. You sort of feel bad for her since no one told her that 2012 ended, like, two years ago, but you don’t feel bad enough to be the one to break it to her. Secretly you’re jealous of how many Instagram followers she has.
7. Most Played Song: Young Cardinals by Alexis on Fire
He’s punk and wants you to believe he’s totally X-core but as with anyone living in the suburbs, he’s about as hard as his clean, cotton tank. He does have spacers, though (but they are the smallest size). He’s been in a really good mood since he found out that blink-182 is back in the studio. He’s also been telling you all about the badass lion/bear/eagle tattoo he’s getting next month for years now. This is a phase that has gone on too long.
8. Most Played Song: Southern Girl by Tim McGraw
She’s all about red mini dresses paired with suede booties in some shade of brown. Cowboy boots are expensive. Was it a love for Taylor Swift’s music that lead her to copping T-Swizzle’s style or was it the cute, modern cowgirl outfits all over Pinterest that lead her to country music? Don’t tell her this, but her boyfriend, also a longtime country music fan, is giving her a pair of real cowboy boots for her birthday. When her friends play “22” and she sings along at full volume it won’t be ironic.
9. Most Played Song: Too Much by Drake
He’s got a vast collection of flat brimmed hats, which he matches perfectly with every outfit. You are a little jealous of his color coordination, and really jealous of his closet space and deep wallet. He has a lot of #feelings and still hasn’t gotten over Kendrick Lamar’s snub at this year’s Grammy’s.
10. Most Played Song: Firework by Katy Perry
Ugg boots, leggings, North Face coats and plenty of Starbucks. Fall is her favorite season and when she’s feeling edgy she likes to rock an accessory glitter nail. This bitch is basic, but shamelessly so. You have to respect her self-awareness and honesty. (To her credit, she does know where to get the best sangria in town and has great advice for all your boy troubles.) You once asked her to explain how a plastic bag feels but she didn’t get the joke. Your friendship didn’t last much longer.
11. Most Played Song: Timber by Pitbull Ft Ke$ha
If he’s still listening to Pitbull, he’s probably still wearing Abercrombie too. And popping the collar. Ugh.