1. He’s almost too perfect. A full-day of fun, sun, laughs, and drinks? It seems so right that it just has to be wrong. And wrong it is. Something that sounds too good to be true always is, and Day Drinking is no exception. It always starts perfectly, with fresh makeup, a perfectly casual daytime outfit, and every hope and wonder of only good things to come from the day. But, a few hours in, hell inevitably breaks lose.
2. He’s a liar. He’ll say or do just about anything to lure you in. He’ll make the weather perfect, the breeze just right, and he may even strike a deal with a local bar to offer $1 mimosas all day-long. But it’s all a lie, because as soon as you agree to partake, the truth will rear its ugly. It was all a front and his true goal of the day is to RUIN IT.
3.He doesn’t have your best interests at heart. He tastes so good and feels so right, it may seem like he’s looking out for you, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. He’s working you; He’s playing up his strengths as hard as he can to keep your doubts at bay. Don’t you see that??? All he’s trying to do is get you so drunk that by 5pm you’re non-functioning, ruining not only the remainder of your night, but probably the entire next day, too. And the worst part? He’ll remain unaffected. You’ll be on your deathbed, while he’s probably still out doing his thing, not giving a rip about you.
4. He’ll cheat on you or he already has. You think yours is the only life he’s ruining? Could you be anymore naive? That’s probably why you keep going back, isn’t it? Because you know that if you deny him your company, it’s no skin off his back to find a willing participant in your place. You can’t handle the thought of him replacing you so easily, so you keep giving in. But you’re a smart girl, and you know in your heart of hearts that, no matter how today goes, he’ll be with someone new tomorrow doing the same damn thing.
5. He always leaves you feeling worthless. You know how they say “it feels so good because you know it’s so bad”? You know it’s wrong with day drinking. You know that, every single time, you walk away from the situation feeling less than, disheveled, and emptier than you ever thought possible (probably because you need pizza STAT). Day drinking lured you in, seduced you with his carefree attitude and award-winning personality then, after that one last drink that sent you over the edge, reminded you of how terrible he really is. So here you are, 8 p.m. on a Saturday night, already hungover and laying in bed, seemingly dying a slow and painful death complete with headache and stomachache. And where is he? Gone. Per usual. For the umpteenth time, you fell for his game and all you have to show for it are beer-filled burps, terrible indigestion, and the feeling that you may never recover from drinking again.
But you will. And you’ll do it again. Maybe not next weekend, but probably the weekend after that. Because, like magic, the bad memories always seem to get erased and the good ones hold steadfast to your brain. Day drinking will call on you again, and you’ll answer with unbridled enthusiasm like you do