1. Your dog curling up in a ball, right next to you, laying his head or paw on your lap, and sighing that heavily, contented sigh. In that moment, everything is right, you are loved, and your heart is full.
2. Crafting the absolute perfect cup of coffee. Some mornings, it’s too bitter. Other mornings, it’s too weak. But, this morning, it’s perfectly sweet, perfectly strong, and the perfectly perfect start to your day.
3. Picking the most epic booger to end all boogers. Like, so epic that you’re pretty sure you just cleaned house until next month.
4. Out-lasting someone in a bathroom standoff. Each and every day, women of all ages go into public restrooms to do their business, only to be followed closely by a stranger who tries to act like you need to leave first. Those instances in which you win and they give up make those days so much sweeter.
5. Having no laundry to do. None. I’m talking, your hamper is empty. Everything is washed. Everything is dried. Everything is folded. Anything that was hanging has been put away. You are completely and totally laundryless.
6. Your first sip of red wine after “detoxing” for the week. It’s like losing your wine virginity all over again. Your thighs are telling you no, but your taste buds. Your taste buds are telling you yes.
7. Cooking chicken perfectly. So rarely is it not dry or a little undercooked or totally flavorless, that when you finally do it well, it’s something to revel in. Eat that chicken, girl. You did good.
8. Getting a real piece of snail mail that isn’t a bill or wedding invite or Capital One promotion addressed to “Current Resident.”
9. Vowing to not spend a dime on meals out this week, and actually doing it. This is a feat, and if you can accomplish it, you can pretty much accomplish anything.
10. A shower when you’ve never wanted anything more in life than this shower, right now. Moans and exclamations of “YESSSS. GOD, YESSSS!” escape your mouth, and you consider what life would be like if you were to claim this shower as your home.
11. Mapping out your errand run so flawlessly, you can hardly believe how efficient you just were. No gas wasted, no unnecessary backtracking. You nailed this errand run harder than you ever have before.
12. For online shopaholics, finding a secret discount code and getting an orgasm-worthy bargain that you want to shout to the world from a mountaintop. But not really, because then people will use it to copy what you bought.
13. Nothing can beat a solid night of sleep. Nothing. Falling asleep and staying there for an entire night (complete with drool) is what you imagine heaven’s version of a nap might be like. Nothing bad can happen to you the following day, because you’ve never felt this kind of rested before. It happens maybe once a year.
14. Your boss being so completely wrong and you being 100% right. End your day here when this happens. It won’t get any better. Glory.
15. Making a meal and being able to put every last dish and utensil in the dishwasher (even the knife you used to open the package of greens), then pressing start.
16. Not having one – not one – little red notification on your phone, anywhere ::excitement shudder::
17. A bed that doesn’t run out of cold spots. You’re not sure how or why this happens, but when it does, it’s more or less the most delicious slumber you’ve ever experienced.
18. A #2 that breaks totally and utterly clean. You know exactly what I’m talking about. This is a day maker.
19. Getting the last of something, even if it’s the last of your size in something – oh my yes, what a feeling!
20. Taking the best selfie you’ve ever taken. Is that you? God, you’re pretty today. You feel so accomplished with this newfound, amazing selfie. You’ll post it on Instagram in hopes of getting at least 30 likes for validation, but other than that, it holds no bigger significance. It will become your profile picture on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter but, for the most part, it’ll just sit in your camera roll as a necessary reminder that you looked damn good that day and can probably do it again.