1. No matter what the meal, no matter the mess – your kitchen gets cleaned every. night. A visitor would be hard-stretched to find a bowl out of place or a small, almost invisible spreading of leftover salt on the counter. You cannot sleep knowing you are waking up to to a messy kitchen. Absolutely not.
2. Every blanket within your household is always properly folded and looking pretty. Countless times, you’ve settled into the couch for a night of television, when you look over and realize how haphazardly you’ve folded your couch blanket. You stop everything to unravel and refold it to your liking. There’s no laughing to be had at “The Mindy Project” when that sloppy blanket is staring you in the face.
3. Your friends know to take their shoes off and ask whether or not they’re allowed to sit with their feet up before they just waltz in and get buck wild.
4. Making your bed every day is not a chore – it’s a pleasure. You can sit at your desk a little easier knowing how tidy your bedroom/sleeping quarters are.
5. Laundry is fun. In fact, it’s so fun that your hamper is rarely ever more than halfway full since you’re constantly washing and drying. You consider it a relaxing, enjoyable past time.
6. Once you spot one, tiny stain on a kitchen cabinet, you can’t stop. The Magic Eraser or roll of paper towels come out and, an hour later, you have no idea what just happened. All you know is that your kitchen cabinets are immaculate and you need a snack.
7. At the end of each day, you empty your car of excess anything. No straw wrapper, empty cup, or random hair tie can be found within 20 feet of your vehicle. People who treat their automobiles like moving trash receptacles disgust you. One time, you accidentally left a piece of dry cleaning and an extra umbrella in the backseat, and it took you a few days to recoop.
8. In moments of complete chaos, you take to cleaning. Same goes for when you’re sad, angry, or bored: cleaning is always the cure.
9. You’ve opted out of Sunday brunch multiple times, shamelessly telling your friends, “Nope, sorry. Today is cleaning day.” They know better than to question this. For the next few hours, you’ll be dripping with sweat and making ungodly noises while you mop and vacuum the shit out of your home. #sundayfunday.
10. Unlike most humans, you lack the ability to finish a meal then sit back and relax while your dishes and food stains sit in front of you. How are you expected to concentrate on anything else? Once you’ve wiped down the table and removed all dish ware, then you can watch your movie undisturbed.
11. You’re constantly moving around your house. Unless everything is perfectly in order, there is always something to be done. You move from room to room, finding new things to clean as you go. It’s never-ending. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
12. “I just burned at least 200 calories” is often the rationalization you make to skip the gym after an afternoon of cleaning. And, by all means, it’s legit.
13. Your friends have almost peed their pants upon spilling a drop of anything on your couch. They live in fear of your cleaning wrath.
14. You hear “Your place is so clean!” almost every time a newcomer is granted access to your digs. Actually, scratch that. Even people who have been over multiple times still can’t get over how tidy your home is.
15. Everyone talks about going to their “happy place” – yours is mentally picturing your impeccably clean home in times of great stress. It showers the kind of calm over you that nothing else can.
16. When something you’re about to clean is exceptionally dusty or dirty, you straddle the line between irrationally excited and maybe a little sexually aroused.
17. Cleaning out your fridge is an event. It’s something you plan for in advance. You cannot and will not keep anything that’s: semi-old, past its expiration date, or probably still good but you just know it’s been in there too long. The sound it all makes hitting the deepest depths of your trashcan is too satisfying to bear.
18. Your closet. Oh, your closet. Color-coded, length-coded, everything-CODED. Sometimes you just go stand in there and breathe deeply, especially when you’ve just replaced your Febreeze Set & Refresh. Soothes the soul.
19. This GIF sums you up perfectly.