Five Ways To Tell If The Guy You’re Dating Is A Fourth-Dimensional Being

Doctor Who

In this modern day of online dating and long work hours, it’s hard enough to meet and date people. But what makes it even more difficult is the worry that your man may have a secret that he’s keeping from you: Is your beau a fourth-dimensional being? With the popularity of characters from Doctor Strange and Rick and Morty, it seems like these guys are popping up everywhere! Could this be the new bro trend? We asked some savvy ladies the biggest tells to see if your man could possibly be projecting to the astral plane on the reg.

His Voice

24-year-old Alexa said she always listens to her man’s voice before agreeing to another date. “Most guys talk like human beings,” Alexa said. “So when I hear a guy speaking with the voices of a thousand souls, from ages past or yet to exist in this time, I know something’s up.” But what about what they talk about? Do fourth-dimensional creatures have any hot button topics to look out for? Alexa responded: “Mostly philosophical musings on the definition of life, but I also have never met one that prefers pancakes to waffles for breakfast.”

His Eyes

A guy with good bedroom eyes is the best. There’s nothing as sexy as when a man looks at you and stares as if he can see straight through your clothes. But if that man can see straight through your soul, this could be a red flag. 22-year-old Cece says, “I once dated a guy who was nice enough, but every time I looked in his eyes when we were getting frisky in the bedroom, I didn’t see a man looking back at me. I saw myself as a child and as a rotting corpse and the entire smallness of my existence and it was honestly such a turnoff.”

His Family

We all know that a guy who doesn’t treat his mom with respect isn’t going to treat his lady with respect either. Fourth-dimensional guys take this to the next level. 25-year-old Natalie from Boca Raton warns, “If you ask a guy how he feels about his family, you need to pay close attention to what he says. So, when I asked my date about his family and he responded, ‘I have no family, my origin is from the same primordial elements that make up your sun and all the most ancient materials in the universe,’ I knew I had to put a stop to it.”
Good thinking Natalie!

His Apartment

A nightcap can be the perfect ending to a lovely night. Waiting for a man to find the key to his apartment is one thing, but having to meditate intensely, become one with the universe, and project your soul in order to enter his apartment is another thing. “It was totally bonkers!” said 22-year-old Julia. “He was already five minutes late to the date, but then it took another half hour for me to imbue myself with color and sensation that I have never experienced myself and I honestly need to respect my time more than that. I’m ashamed to say I still went on two more dates with that jerk!”

His Ride

Your man may not drive a Tardis or dimension-traveling spaceship, but when he comes through to pick you up, keep your eyes peeled. One woman, who preferred to remain anonymous, writes, “I had a dinner date with a cutie one night and he came to pick me up 473 times! We got stuck in a time loop and his car just kept pulling up over and over again. By the time we finally got to the restaurant, I had mastered the art of small-scale time manipulation. It’s so embarrassing. My friends have even started calling me ‘Interstellar’ teasing me about it!”

The dating market is rough out there for everyone. But it’s important to know whom you’re dating! While most of us may be exasperated by the day to day of dating a fourth-dimensional being, if you read all of the above and liked what you saw, then you may be the exact gal that a being with no gender, race, or confirmable physical form would be looking for! TC mark

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