An Inner Monologue Of Dying Your Hair At Home

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  1. “I need a CHANGE. Like NOW. RIGHT NOW.”
  2. “God, I’d love to have hair as dark and full of life as the Kardashians. Is dying my naturally blonde hair black a good idea? Hm. Probably not. Oh well. How bad can this possibly go?”
  3. “Maybe I should wait a bit… I’ll see if I feel the same way in a week’s time…”
  4. “NO. Time is for the weak. It’s now or never. Vamanos.”
  5. “I wonder how much the hair dresser will quote me for this…”
  6. “HOW BLOODY MUCH? Bitch, please. That’s daylight robbery. I’ll be living off of canned food for weeks. No thanks.”
  7. “I guess I’ll have to take matters into my own hands. $8 for hair dye? Yes please. If that doesn’t scream quality, I don’t know what does!”
  8. “Best watch a tutorial on YouTube first. I’m no fool. I’m not going to go into this completely blind.”
  9. “20 minutes for a hair tutorial seems a bit excessive. I’ll skip to the last 2 minutes just so I can see the finished article.”
  10. “Well, her hair is still attached to her head. So that’s put my worst fears firmly at ease. Let’s get this show on the road!”
  11. “Bloody hell, this dye is potent. I think my lungs are scarred.”
  12. “SHIT. I was meant to do an allergy test?! Fuck. Too late now.”
  13. “This seems like a lot of dye… hmm. The more I put on my hair the better, right? RIGHT?!”
  14. “Is that a spot of dye on my carpet?! For God’s sake.”
  15. “HAVE I JUST PUT ACID ON MY SCALP?!”
  16. “Has it been 30 minutes yet?!”
  17. “Time to wash this mess out. WHAT EVEN IS THIS COLOR COMING OUT OF MY HAIR?!”
  18. “Oh. My. God. This feels damaged as fuck. Where can I buy conditioner in bulk?!”
  19. “THIS IS NOT THE COLOR THAT I WAS PROMISED ON THE BOX. I HAVE BEEN CONNED. CONNED! OH MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?! WHAT ARE THESE PATCHES?! HOW DO I FIX THIS COLOSSAL DISASTER QUICKLY AND CHEAPLY?! Fuck. FUCK.”
  20. “Oh BRILLIANT, the ends are snapping off in my hands. Maybe I should just shave it off and start again…NO. Don’t be stupid. This can be fixed. JUST KEEP IT TOGETHER.”
  21. “Hello? Yes, can I book an emergency hair appointment for today? I’ve had a bit of an accident…”