7 Ways Homebodies Can Make The Most Of The Weekend

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The prospect of spending the weekend alone with not even a single plan on your radar can do one of two things: A) fill you with overwhelming joy and relief that you’re not obligated to see or even talk to another human being for a at least 48 hours, or B) plague your every thought that you have no friends that want to spend time with you. Hopefully, you will be experiencing A) with only a light dusting of B). To help keep you on track with your weekend alone, I have put together this helpful seven-step guide.

1. Netflix

Clearly this was going to make the list and I may as well make it number 1 while I’m at it. To all those people who claim such obscenities as “I just can’t sit down all day” or “I can’t possibly spend the day inside”, I suggest you vacate this list now. This is not for you. Besides, being the restless ball of energy you are, you’re probably the kind of person that actually has human beings to socialize with on the weekend anyway.

Back onto the Netflix talk. Fun fact: It is indeed logistically possible to blast through two entire seasons of 24 in the space of weekend (providing you don’t sleep). I can’t even put into words the kind of euphoria an experience like that can induce.

Don’t even get me started on how many episodes of The Office you can fit into a weekend.

In fact, I would just say stop reading now if you know what’s good for you. Don’t waste your valuable time enlightening yourself on the other ways you can spend your weekend when we both know the only right answer is Netflix.

2. Personal hygiene, say what?

IT’S NOT A WEEKDAY ANYMORE. Embrace the 2 out of 7 days of the week you don’t have to haul your ass under the shower at 6am. Heck, you don’t need to shower at all if you don’t want to! I would recommend spending Saturday and Sunday wallowing in your own filth and you may, may, even be grateful to be obligated to clean yourself for work by the time Monday rolls around. It’s an interesting psychological theory that you’re more than welcome to try out.

3. Free reign on the acoustics

For this weekend and this weekend only: the empty shell of your apartment is your audience and you are the DJ.

Who’s there to judge you when you blast ‘Hungry Eyes’ at full volume at 2am or when you sing along to every song on Justin Bieber’s debut album. Answer: no one.
There’s a slight chance your neighbor may not appreciate the objects on their mantelpiece vibrating with every drop of the bass, but hey, there’s an equal chance they may appreciate the works of Canada’s greatest pop star blasting through their walls. (HA!)

4. Poppin’ bottles

I’m not advocating alcoholism here, I’m just going to say that there’s nothing a bottle of Jack Daniels can’t improve. Oh the Top Chef

finale is on? Celebrate by uncorking that $5 bottle of wine. Oh, it’s 10 am? SHOTS ALL AROUND. Who needs orange juice with their breakfast when you can enjoy a fruity cider instead?

5. Whip yourself into shape

Some say that this isn’t something that can be achieved overnight. Luckily for you, you have two nights! Is there ever a better time to try out that Insanity Workout DVD your ex-boyfriend left in your flat than when the coast is clear and there’s no one around to witness you two push-ups away from an asthma attack?
If the Insanity Workout isn’t your style, lift a heavy household object repeatedly until you have the arms of Michelle Obama.

Either way, your co-workers won’t recognize the new you come Monday morning.

6. Domestic God(ess)

I’ll be honest and say this is not something I can see myself doing all the time I can afford a Netflix subscription. But, whatever. Have you ever wanted to take up a mature and sophisticated hobby like cooking, gardening, or sewing? Ever wanted to make that cute thing you saw on Pinterest but were too afraid of witnessing the imminent shambles that would inevitably unfold? WELL, NOW IS YOUR TIME. Even if you cook something that Gordon Ramsey would probably have you stoned for creating, at least you tried, right?

7. Image overhaul!

Spice up your weekend by sorting out all the parts of your appearance you’ve been promising yourself you’d attempt some DIY on for years. Consider it a weekend project. Things I wouldn’t recommend — that I have foolishly tried and tested — include: threading your eyebrows yourself to save yourself $7; using a fake tan a good five shades darker that your skin tone to “speed up that natural glow”; and dying your naturally blonde hair a permanent, garish shade of ‘cherry red’ because you live the “no regrets” sort of lifestyle.

So there you have it. Take this advice as you will. And I wish you a wild weekend!

featured image – Hillary Boles