1. You make it easy for everyone.
Change of plans? Sure. Reschedule? No problem. Something else came up? Don’t worry about it. Sound familiar? Of course they do because you always find yourself responding with those words. You adjust your schedule for everyone. You move things around so they won’t have to. You’ll travel farther just to “meet them halfway” when you know that you’re basically meeting them at their place. You make it a point to make sure that everything is perfect for them so they won’t be hassled.
2. You bend over backwards for others even if you compromise yourself.
You’re always the first one to volunteer to do something for other people. It doesn’t matter what it is or when it’s going to happen or why it has to be done. You just go ahead and do it so that other people won’t be inconvenienced by it. You think to yourself, “Oh that’s nothing! I can do that! They shouldn’t worry about it because I’ll take care of it.” You don’t think about the inconvenience it’ll bring you or how much effort and time it’s going to take. You just do it, no questions asked, no second thoughts, no second guesses. You drop everything for them, which leaves you to pick up the pieces of your life in their wake.
3. You’re always the one planning things.
You believe in the saying, “If you want something done right, you do it yourself.” So you do. You do everything yourself. You plan everything because you know that if someone else does it, nothing will ever come into fruition. So you go ahead and plan and you get frustrated and pissed when your plan doesn’t follow through because of them but you just go on ahead and plan another thing to make up for the unrealized plans you already made.
4. You become the most accommodating person out there.
You go out of your way to cater to other people. If they suddenly can’t make it, you change your plans. If they forgot something, you’d get it for them. If they dragged someone else along, you’d make space. You’re forever tailoring your life to fit other people’s needs. You forget your responsibilities, cancel a few of your other things, drop all the other stuff, just to be there for them.
5. You hate it when other people are disappointed in you.
You’re a people-pleaser. You want to do a good job so people will notice but they don’t. They only notice when you did something wrong and if you let them down. They won’t let it go either, they’ll even make a snide comment saying that they thought you could do it and that they believed in you but you just let the ball drop. Not once did they mention that they’ll take it from there, you notice. It’s their way of enticing you to try again and you do. You fall for it every time because you want to redeem yourself.
6. You feel like everyone’s problems are your problems to fix.
You empathize with people. You put yourself in their shoes and imagine what it would be like to face those problems yourself and in doing so you get sucked into it thinking that you have a problem that you need to solve when in reality it’s not your problem. I repeat, IT’S NOT YOUR PROBLEM!!! But what do you do? You make it your problem. Then you’re compelled to solve it. You can’t leave it alone like the way you can’t leave an item blank in a test because if you do it’ll eat you up.
7. You don’t see your selflessness as a problem.
It’s part of you. It’s who you are. You don’t want to change it because if you do then you’ll become this whole other person. Do you really want that? It’s not a flaw to be selfless though at times it may seem that way because you’re compelled to do things you otherwise wouldn’t do just to please other people.
8. People will always take advantage of you.
You know what I mean by this. You’ll get messages asking you if you’re going to a certain place so people can hitch a ride, you’ll find yourself in compromising positions for the sake of other people, you’ll be the scapegoat in all situations. You can’t say No to people. You can’t come up with an excuse not to do something or not to be somewhere. You’re always going to say Yes and you’re always game for anything.
9. People will always expect you to pick things up.
They have a problem? They won’t sweat it. They need something done? Doesn’t worry them. There’s something they need taken cared of? They won’t bother. They need help? They won’t ask. Why? Because they know you’ll always be there to pick things up for them. They’ll become dependent, they’ll expect you to have all the answers, all the resources, all the things they need at any instant. Because you’re now “that person.” The one they can always look for and call up to fix anything.
10. People will always take you for granted.
No matter what you do, no matter how much effort you put in, no matter how much time you spend, more often than not, people will overlook everything you did. They won’t thank you because they won’t think of it. You’ll find yourself regretting that you put yourself in uncomfortable positions for other people. You’ll begin to realize that it’s not all worth it. You’ll find out that you should stop because you don’t see the point anymore. But you don’t. It’s who you are. You’re selfless and they’re selfish. It’ll stay like that forever.
Because at the end of the day, selfless people do things for the selfish.