Singleness can sometimes be an extremely tough time especially when we really want to be with someone and we want those “relationship goals” that we all tend to see that our friends have… but what is the point of relationship goals, honestly? We never know what is truly going on in that relationship and we never really will. We need to stop comparing ourselves or using the words relationship goals.
Your friend’s relationship is not yours and the Bible specifically tells us that we should not compare ourselves to others, so we should also not be comparing our relationship to others. For those of you who are single… you may be asking yourself what is it that you are doing wrong or whats wrong with you because there must be a reason why you are still single, right? Well good news! There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
Is being single a bad thing? Does it mean that you aren’t lovable, that you are doing something wrong, nobody wants you, etc? Why doesn’t someone want me or choose me??
But guess what… God chose you and he loves you.
He is your father and you are His daughter/son. He chose you before you were even born. I don’t know if there is a better feeling than knowing that my heavenly father chose ME!
When I take time to truly remember that I feel so honored because as a child I was never chosen. So please know that you have already been chosen by the best man out there who loves you unconditionally. I had to look at it as this way… Sometimes I want to so badly be with someone and I want to have that significant other in my life. I see it as in this life God is like my earthly father in a sense and when a guy wants to be a part of my life and take me out he asks him questions and pushes him about why he wants to be with me and if my father doesn’t think I am ready or feels like he isn’t a good fit for me then he says no not yet because he wants the best for me.
He is filtering through all of these guys so that if one day I do meet my future husband it will be amazing because it is on God’s timing and not my own. So don’t settle, wait on God’s timing because it will be awesome when you do. He is writing your love story and you just have to trust him and let him write it for you. He is the author of your life.
In my life I have always been single. Not once have I ever been in a relationship. Sure I would always go on a lot of first dates but I always thought that I was never good enough because it would never go anywhere after the first date. I quickly began to feel as though I was unlovable and that nobody would ever want me.
I wasn’t sure what was wrong with me. All I ever wanted was to be wanted and I have those “relationship goals”. I was always told by people that I was a beautiful girl and so on… So it would hurt me when people would tell me this and then they would say how surprised they were to find out that I wasn’t in a relationship and question me about why I didn’t have that special someone. I would then always keep asking myself… what is the reasoning behind me being single.
I began to fight with God about it and I told him that I wanted to be loved and wanted.
I told him that I one day wanted to get married and possibly have kids, I yearned for all those things just like anybody else does.
As I began to dig deeper into God’s word and learn more about who he was and how much he loved me I began to become content with my singleness. I had to learn things about myself and continue to pursue after God first before I could ever be in a relationship. I had to realize that it’s not because I am not lovable, unwanted, or there is something wrong with me that I am single…
because I am loved by the man who is the definition of love.
I am so loved that he sent his one and only son to die on the cross for me so that I could have eternal life.
So right now it may not be in God’s plan or timing for you to be in a relationship, but during this time of singleness you should pursue the Lord and continue to be his hands and feet and serving those around you. Be content and enjoy this season of singleness in your life. Do all the the things as a single person that you maybe won’t be able to otherwise do if you are in a relationship.
God has amazing things planned for your life and it will be awesome. If you are currently single I encourage you to just run and seek after the Lord hard and continuously. It is far better to wait on God’s timing for the person that God has planned for your life rather than going about it your own way and being in a relationship with the wrong person. If you let go and let God then it will happen when it is meant to happen and it will be a very beautifully written story because it is written by the person who also created you.
A really great friend of mine recently told me that the right person at the wrong time is still the wrong person. So it is my prayer for you that you wait on the Lord for your love story and let him write it for you.