I’m not afraid to admit that I freaking love love.
I think that love is magic. It leaves us vulnerable yet strong. Terrified and certain. It makes us cry then it makes us giggle for absolutely no reason.
Love is distracting, but somehow evokes this inexplicable clarity. It carries an uncontrollable euphoria. It is everything.
While I could write about love in its many forms, today’s topic is about the romantic kind. The butterflies-in-your-stomach-can’t-eat-can’t-sleep-can’t-concentrate-word-vomit sort of thing.
Some people role their eyes at clichés because they lack originality. Which is true. But what about the beautifully cliché phrase: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
I’m amusing myself with the irony of validating clichés with the use of a cliché. I crack myself up.
Anyway. Clichés about love are some of the most overused, but some of the most accurate as well. Let’s discuss my five favorites.
1. Timing is everything.
Well…yeah it is. There’s this brilliant quote from a song in the movie Country Strong that reads, “You can be hurt by love, or healed by the same. Timing is everything.”
How poignantly true is that? If you take a second and look back at your life’s adventures, it’s so easy to see that love can be as demolishing as it can be up-lifting.
It’s such a difficult thing to put your faith in something that you can’t control, but the timing of your life is happening just as it should be.
The one who showed up at the wrong time was just preparing you for the one who is going to show up at the right time. Love is so powerful. Trust the Universe.
2. We accept the love we think we deserve.
If I could find a way to remind every woman of this every single day for the rest of their lives, I would do it.
There’s this tragic thing that happens when a woman (men, too, I’m sure…but I’m gonna focus on my lady friends) accepts a relationship with a man who is so obviously treating her poorly.
We become blinded (LOVE IS BLIND, RIGHT!? Clichés are amazing) to abusive behavior whether it be emotional or physical because we somehow find a way to blame ourselves.
We can reason through their actions to justify them. Then we relish in the good moments as we force away remnants of his wrongdoings.
It. Ends. Now.
I wish that you could see yourself the way others see you. I wish you could see how beautiful you are. How strong you are. How worthy you are.
Please, ladies. Realize your worth and demand to be treated the way you deserve.
Don’t accept less.
3. Actions speak louder than words.
This is a tough one. I have definitely encountered some people who are better at actions than words and vice versa.
But, this doesn’t have to be taken so literally.
This expression is for those of you who have been texting a guy for months. He tells you he likes you. You mean a lot to him. He can see a future with you.
That’s nice, but this is also the same guy who only invites you to “hang out” after 11 PM every Saturday night. Cue “Late Night Booty Call” from the movie Yes Man.
Even on a more serious note. I think we often find ourselves in stagnant situations. We want to move forward. We want more.
We give ultimatums (stop that, by the way), we hint at things, we’re unsatisfied, but we stay because he promises he’ll do better.
If he isn’t doing better, abort mission. He isn’t acting on his words.
Moving right along.
4. It’s not you it’s me.
Goodness gracious do I love this. I’m not sure why this ended up being one of the most hated expressions of all time, but it is.
Why? Because it’s simple. It doesn’t explain much, but that’s because it doesn’t need to. It seems like a copout, maybe. It’s not.
I’ve used it. And I sure meant it.
He was perfect to me. He was the guy every parent wishes their daughter would end up with. He was the guy I always wished I’d end up with. But, I changed.
My feelings changed. My vision for my life changed.
I so badly wished it hadn’t. I tried to force it away. I felt so guilty because I genuinely had no good reason to leave him.
But it was how I felt. I think we become obsessed with finding reasons for things not working out. Sometimes they just don’t. Sometimes, the relationship just stops making sense.
It wasn’t him. It was just me.
5. You can’t love someone until you love yourself.
The mothership of love clichés, my sweet friends.
The validations for this expression could be put into thousands and thousands of words, but let me try to keep it simple.
When we don’t love ourselves, we act insecurely. We are at unease with ourselves and everyone else.
We never quite find that contentment.
We nag our partner. We act out. We pick fights. We self loathe. We stay because we’re afraid we’ll never find someone else. It’s all so damaging.
Without loving and honoring ourselves, it’s not really possible to experience true love with someone else. There’s a place in our hearts that we are keeping to ourselves because we just can’t find the courage to share it.
For the person on the other end, you can’t love someone into loving themselves. No matter how many times you tell them. No matter how much love you have to give, they need to feel it for themselves first.
By loving yourself, a relationship can grow with no reservations. No insecurities. And it will create a better sense of trust. LOVE YO SELF!
There they are. My five favorite clichés about love.
Let these guide you to a place filled with self love and adoration.
I hope that you trust the Universe and its wondrous plans for you and that you remember how much goodness you deserve. And if all else fails, there are plenty of fish in the sea.