Forrest Gump taught us that life is like a box of chocolates. Dating is also like chocolate. Imagine you are chocolate. You taste great on your own but you seek someone to enhance your taste. Chocolate goes well with a lot of things and each combination creates an new and unique taste. Each taste has its pluses and minuses and each taste has a time and purpose in your life.
First you have your high school boyfriend. He is Graham crackers and marshmallows. Your relationship is a youthful treat that is often sticky and messy but all together enjoyable. It usually doesn’t last past graduation though as this combination is something made for the summer of your life, the beginning part when everything is just starting out. You have so much more to discover and explore. You will look back on this relationship with fond memories and nostalgia but the love you felt will eventually fade to nothing more then a charming anecdote.
You then head to college where you meet peanut butter. You kind of just fell into each other. You fool yourself into believing that what you have is an actual serious relationship when in reality he is a college boy who really just wants one thing from you. Eventually your peanut butter decides it would rather be with the fruity freshman jelly and ditches you. You will meet a lot of peanut butter in college, guys who just want to spread themselves on as many girls as they can. Eventually these guys may mature and grow into respectable human beings but by that time college will be long over and you will have moved on to bigger and better things.
Post grad you meet nuts. They kind of remind you of your college boyfriend, peanut butter, but their douche bag antics are no longer smooth and cool because they are grown ass adults who should know better. Their behavior literally drive you nuts. They don’t text you for days, they bail on dates, they ditch you at parties where you don’t know anyone. Ultimately they treat you like shit. They are hard and emotionally unavailable but when they are good to you, which isn’t often, it feels like the most amazing thing in the whole world. You ignore their many flaws in favor of their few redeeming qualities. It is not until you grow up a little more and realize that you deserve better that you are ever able to stop dating nuts.
Once you are over your nut obsession you meet bacon. I personally love eating chocolate and bacon together but its not for everyone. This is the relationship that shouldn’t work but it does for some reason. Maybe he is a devout Catholic that your Jewish parents do not approve of or the guy who just doesn’t want kids. The taste is so unique and unlike anything you have ever experienced but sometimes too many differences, especially in regards to values and life goals can pull people apart.
Next you date caramel. This is the one that is almost right. You taste great together, however there is a bit of a salty taste left in your mouth from this combo. You are finally ready for that serious commitment but you have to change too much of you you are for this person. You soon can’t tell where they end and you begin. Soon their personality is overpowering yours and even though they are great, they aren’t worth losing who you are.
Now is the time for self reflection. This is when you realize that you taste pretty amazing all on your own. Lets face it pure chocolate is pretty incredible. It would be nice to have someone to share life with but you don’t need another person to be happy. You are a complete food all on your own. You are unique and special and once you come to see that you don’t actually need any other flavors but rather want them for the additional pleasure they bring you, that’s when you might just find the one.
Fruit, your perfect match. You met them while you were out enjoying your life and while you do not need them to be the wonderful dessert that you are, they sure do make everything just a bit sweeter. This is what a healthy relationship is. One filled with respect and love for one another. There someone you enjoy being with and have fun with but can also build a life with. You can eat them well into your 80’s without them making you sick or fat. They make you a better version of the already amazing person you are all on your own.
Now perhaps this is not exactly how your life will unfold. Maybe you will end up with your high school sweet heart or decide you and bacon really aren’t that different deep down and they will be the ones to bring you to new heights. Maybe you will even decide you don’t want to be chocolate but rather cheese or spaghetti. Either way dating is about finding the right combination for you. So next time you have a bad date or you get dumped just remember that just because you don’t taste great with everyone doesn’t mean you don’t taste great at all.