My story is what has made me who I am, all of the pieces with jagged edges and smooth corners, I am what life has created and what I allowed myself to be. I’m not ashamed of that though. And for the longest time, I was.
The great thing about life is that you can literally be whoever you want. And I mean that because yes, you’re born into circumstances. I’m not saying that some of those might not be really difficult to get out of, but you can eventually find the light. People will write you off, call you names, expect nothing of you. And the best piece of advice I can give you is to tell them to go screw themselves.
You are magic. All of us are told not to believe that we’re special and that we’re all the same. Biologically, yes our bodies do basically the same stuff – but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually we are all unique. You have the choice to not give into the direction life is pulling you towards if you don’t want to. It won’t be easy and you’re going to get knocked down a lot, but you don’t give up-you keep getting up and fighting with whatever you’re given.
It’s so important to be at peace with our stories and to maybe even be comfortable telling the hard parts. That is what makes us strong and able to connect with those out there that aren’t ready just yet.
I recently this past summer had a caseworker of all people, tell me that my articles that are out in the world are too vulnerable and that I’ve shared too much. At the time, I thought she was right and I felt silly and I stopped writing for seven months. I have realized however over time, that there is nothing I’ve written about that someone can’t ask me about because I’m okay with that chapter of my life.
I was the girl who was going nowhere, born into a damaged family, the one who didn’t do well in high school or even my first three years of college. I was supposed to end up with alcoholism, do or sell drugs, too stupid, too slow…etc.
Spoiler alert: I’m not a fan of labels, especially the ones that don’t make sense. Did I have to ask for help when didn’t want to? Absolutely. Did I get threatened by my boss at a fast food joint to be fired if I didn’t get better at my job? Yes. Did I cry a lot in my car that blew a head gasket on a hill with maybe one hundred dollars in my bank account? I sure did. But I kept going because that is what you do when life gets hard.
So don’t you dare let anyone make you feel ashamed for who you are. If you want to tell your story, then tell it. If people don’t like it, then it’s a good thing it’s not their life to have. We are all being written into something by people who don’t know us, and I encourage you to define yourself before someone else tries to.