It will be inevitable. His charming words, the way you’ll feel like you’ve finally won this seemingly unachievable person, the way he’ll hold you. I want to let you know to guard your heart.
This may seem silly coming from an ex, but I don’t say it out of jealousy or even spite. I say it because I never want someone to feel what I’ve felt. I never want you to be the girl that waits around for his words to become his actions; because they won’t.
You will have a thousand moments where you close your eyes and tell yourself to move on, and it’ll be like he heard your thoughts; he’ll swoop in and apologize for whatever he has done and promise to be better, hold your hand and even cry about how much he loves you, promise to save you.
That’s the ironic part though because he will promise to save you from yourself. And like a fool, you’ll start to actually believe you need that. You’ll believe that you’re your own worst enemy, and the war that will rage inside your heart will distract you the most from what is so plain and simple in front of you…that he is the one you need saving from.
I never said that any of this would be easy. You’ll become stronger, smarter, more diligent, but you’ll lose a part of your innocence too, you certainly won’t think the same. The screaming matches will become how you connect, the day he calls you stupid will seem like words out of love, when you try to live, he will convince you that only his way is right. And so here is my message to you: If you choose to love him, don’t love him more than you love yourself. You’re worth so much more.