It’s been a long time since John Mayer referred to his dick as “David Duke” and Jessica Simpson as “sexual napalm”. In the wake of this public douchebaggery era, Mayer “moved to Montana and grew out his hair.”
Now he talks about how he’s on the “right side” of cultural appropriation and does profiles with the New York Times titled John Mayer Knows He Messed Up. He Wants Another Chance. Today he tweeted about the way the media talks about police shootings of black children:
A new era of John Mayer has been ushered in, and that era is Woke Daddy.
Woke Daddy John Mayer is going to send out midnight tweets addressed to @DonaldTrump and march in women’s rallies and use his platform to talk about issues. Maybe. Woke Daddy John Mayer has a huge ass heart that he is learning how to control:
I used to have my heart out in front of me to every person I met. It didn’t matter who you were. I didn’t have time to make a value judgment. Everybody would get to look at it and touch it and put their gum out on it. And I would leave sad because I would go in with this huge, heavy beating heart for somebody to come put their arms around me and think I was great. And they just wouldn’t because you don’t do that at a party. — Woke Daddy JM
Also, he’s ready for a baby.
Let us bless the parody account that prophesied this moment:
Stay woke, John Mayer. We are here for it.