Rhode Island resident and whiny opinion-haver Alan Sorrentino was tired of being victimized by women sporting the ‘unflattering’ look of yoga pants in public. So victimized, that he decided to write a letter to the editor of his town’s paper about it. Warning: this is some of the saddest old man baby tears I’ve ever read:
To the editor:
The absolute worst thing to ever happen in women fashion is the recent development of yoga pants as daily wear outside the yoga studio.
Not since the mini-skirt has there been something worn by so many women who should never have it on in the first place.
From casual to formal, weddings, funerals, shopping, and even for the workplace, yoga pants are everywhere on women of all ages, usually paired with a blousy top and a pony tail hairdo. What a disaster!
Like the mini-skirt, yoga pants can be adorable on children and young women who have the benefit of nature’s blessing of youth. However, on mature, adult women there is something bizarre and disturbing about the appearance they make in public. Maybe it’s the unforgiving perspective they provide, inappropriate for general consumption, TMI, or the spector of someone coping poorly with their weight or advancing age that makes yoga pants so weird in public.
A nice pair of tailored slacks, jeans, or anything else would be better than those stinky, tacky, ridiculous looking yoga pants. They do nothing to compliment a women over 20 years old. In fact, the look is bad. Do yourself a favor, grow up and stop wearing them in public.
Besides, why would you want to wear something that’s seen on dozens of other women every day, everywhere? I thought women didn’t like doing that for obvious reasons. Yoga pants belong in the yoga studio. What’s next? Wearing a “Speedo” to the supermarket? Imagine if men did that. Yuck!
To all yoga pant wearers, I struggle with my own physicality as I age. I don’t want to struggle with yours. Thanks,
For reference, this is what Alan Sorrentino looks like:
Predictably, the letter caused an uproar.
More than 300 people participated in a “yoga pants parade” past Sorrentino’s house Sunday as a show of solidarity against body-shaming. They carried signs that said things like “Love Yourself” and “All Women Are Beautiful.”
The parade’s organizer, Jamie Patrice, said “I want women of all ages, shapes and sizes to know that it is okay to wear whatever makes them feel comfortable.”
Another parade organizer, Jamie Burke, said “Women are fed up with the notion that we have to dress for people’s visual pleasure.”
One attended wrote on Instagram “We’re supporting women who have the right to feel confident in whatever they choose to wear, so walking the #YogaPantsParade was a no-brainer.”
Another wrote “I took my daughter to @paradeyogapants because someone else’s approval is not her responsibility. It’s not about pants. It’s about entitlement and arrogance. It’s about misogyny and disrespect. I don’t want her to shrink herself to fit into that space. I want her to stay brave and bold and badass, to never apologize for who she is and to live her life to the fullest.”
Weirdly, Sorrentino is an openly gay man. He maintains that the letter was meant to be ‘humorous’. He calls the response against him “un-American.”