1. Trying to work heigh into the conversation when you’re on Tinder and a guy doesn’t put his height in his profile. There are only so many ways you can sound totally natural while getting a guy to spill the deets.
2. And then sometimes you find an awesome guy who is below 6′ and you’re like damn, there goes another one… (and you feel like a shallow asshole).
3. You’ve literally googled “state with the tallest men” (Minnesota) and then considered moving there. Why can’t all men have those giant-making Scandinavian genes?
4. No matter how hard you try, there are lots of men who you don’t consider candidates because of height so your dating pool is smaller than it is for other women. This sucks and sometimes you wish you could change your preferences but there’s just something about tall men and how… feminine and safe they make you feel. It makes it worth the challenge.
5. Standing on your tippy toes at every bar to locate the guys whose heads stand above everyone else in the room. And then doing some serious finagling of your group so that you “somehow” end up right next to them.
6. Thinking that men who are 5’11 are your same height even though you are inches shorter than that. In your defense when you wear heels those guys actually do seem like they’re your same height.
7. Tall men are generally thin, so after you find a tall guy you have to find one who doesn’t have the same width of hips as you.
8. When you do end up flirting with a not-tall guy it’s super awkward. Tall guys are the perfect height because when you’re at a bar they have to lean down and talk in your ear, and it’s the perfect setup for them to be so close to your neck, and for you to playfully touch their arm…
9. Sometimes tall guys don’t fit in the shower with you and when they do, shower sex is awkward because you’re worried they are going to hit their head on the shower head if you try to reposition the wrong way.
10. Making out while standing up has to be very short because your neck gets cramped from leaning up so much and his neck hurts from bending over. And sex standing up is just not going to happen without help from something you can prop yourself up on.
11. Taking photos together is super awkward if you two are standing up. Basically he needs to be sitting down and then you can stand next to him and appear like you are somewhat normal sized next to his giant frame.
12. The moment after you break up with someone and you are reminded of how single you are every time you can’t reach something from the top shelf in your kitchen. You feel stupid and helpless and it’s a reminder of how single you are.
13. Worrying your future children will take your genes instead of his and be shorties.