I’m learning to let go of the need to be perfect. Part of growing up is understanding that there are areas in which we need to grow that we can acknowledge, but there are some that are not perfect and never will be. The sooner you can accept this, the sooner you can heal and be at peace with yourself.
Eventually you won’t feel this need to always be perfect—to look perfect, to act perfect, like you have it all together and have all the answers. This typically happens as you get older. You will just be and exist and understand that you are doing the best you can, as we all are. There is nowhere you have to be or go. When you let go of the need to be perfect, you also tend to loosen up in your beliefs about how others should behave.
There will be themes and patterns in your life which will test your strength so that you can build it up in different areas that might be weaker. These tests will never go away. Eventually, you will get to a point where you master some of these parts of yourself, and in other areas, you will just have to learn to accept yourself the way you are.
As the old saying goes, nobody’s perfect. It’s very true. It’s the way life is designed. If someone is very beautiful they might place a lot of their attention and energy into their appearance, and they might miss out on other parts of life. If someone is very intelligent, they might focus all their energy on school or work and they might not be able to have fun and be present. These might be oversimplifications, but essentially what I am trying to say is that no one person can master every area of their life, have it all, and be perfect, even if they appear to be.
In these times where our lives are posted all over social media, it can frequently feel like someone, if not everyone, has it all—that indeed, they have a perfect life. It can be difficult not to judge our own life compared to theirs, whether that is their jobs and accomplishments listed on LinkedIn, their relationship status posted on Facebook, or the snapshots of their perfectly posed friends and family members on Instagram. Being perfect means there is some standard that we are trying to reach, some ultimate goal we are trying to attain, but that standard does not really exist. And anyways, if someone really were perfect, they would have nowhere to grow and nothing to strive towards.
So, I want you, like me, to begin to let go of this need to be perfect that seems to be ingrained into so many psyches. Be a bit kinder and less harsh toward yourself, as well as toward others. Let yourself be a bit indulgent. Eat the chocolate cake. It’s okay to make mistakes, and when you do make a mistake, it’s totally okay if you don’t grow from them right away or ever. I’m giving whoever needs this message the permission to let go of all judgement. The sooner, the better.