Practice makes perfect, as the saying goes. The more we practice something, the better we will get at it.
From my own experience dating and having sexual relationships, I’ve noticed that the guys who are better in bed tend to be the older ones, and it’s because they literally just have had the time to practice and get better at it.
As someone who has been told they have skills in the bedroom, here’s my secret: I truly enjoy it and I see each sexual experience I have as a chance to get better at it. Enjoyment and seeing it as something pleasurable to be experienced, rather than seeing it as a chore, being afraid of it, or doing what we have done the same way every time, is a key to better sexual experiences.
Here’s another one of my secrets: Having sex with more people has made me better at having sex. I don’t advocate this for everyone, but the truth is, when we experience a wider variety of what’s out there sexually, we can take that accumulated knowledge and incorporate it into what we do with other people. Just make sure you are being safe.
Sex also really needs to be seen as a full-body experience rather than one that simply focuses on the sexual organs. When people first start having sex, they might not be as confident about it, maybe due to insecurities about their body or performance anxiety, but as we get older, the focus becomes less about the body and the physical act of sex and more about the sensations associated with the entire experience. Of course, all of this is necessary for having great sex—the touch, the taste, the smells, the feelings (physical and emotional), and the sight.
If you want to be better in the bedroom, it really is about having more confidence, and confidence is something that gets built over time, experience, and practice. You can practice on one person or on multiple partners—whatever floats your boat.
Sex isn’t the end-all-be-all to life or to any relationship, but having good sexual experiences certainly does make life a lot more fun, pleasurable, memorable, and enjoyable.