FamilyGrief

On Talking To My Dead Mother

I lost my mother to pancreatic cancer in 2014. I was 20 years old and it was extremely challenging. It’s hard enough being a 20-year-old but to lose a parent at that age is a devastating blow. It really changes the entire course of your life.

My mom and I were extremely close. We were best friends. She and I used to talk on the phone almost everyday when I was away at college. It’s one thing to lose a mother but it’s another to get used to not being able to talk to them and go to them for advice, especially at that age.

Shortly after she died, I felt guided to start a practice of talking to her, just like we did when I was in college. It was very cathartic. Even though she couldn’t respond, it provided me with a lot of comfort.

Sometimes I would go to her gravesite to talk to her. Sometimes I would just talk out loud, seemingly talking to no one, but it felt good, so I kept it up. Sometimes I even recorded the audio on my phone and talked into it as if I was talking to her.

This practice is what began opening me up to the spiritual world, and to the understanding that she is still here guiding me. If you are open to receiving them, your angels can send you signs. It can be things like feathers, coins, images, locations to travel to, advice from a stranger, etc.

When you first start talking to them it can feel painful. You might start crying. Your natural reaction might be to close off as a result. Know that this is all a natural part of the grieving process.

Here in the West we are taught that crying is bad, and this is a very harmful belief. It is actually healthy for the body to cry. The reaction wouldn’t exist if it weren’t the case. Let yourself be open to whatever emotions come up. You might feel angry, sad, resentful, hurt, nostalgic, happy, at peace, disgusted… whatever it is that you feel come up, know that it is all natural, it is okay, and that you are dealing with feelings that may have existed when they were alive. The grieving process forces us to look at the feelings we had towards whomever we lost on a much deeper level. It is what allows us to grow and evolve. Otherwise, we will stay stagnant.

If you’re like me and have many beautiful angels on the other side who loved you very much, know that they will be pushing you through your subconscious (this is the realm in which the angels reside) to do this inner healing and processing work so that you will be happy. The more you are open to talking to and receiving from them, the more they will be able to help you on your journey.

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About the author
Emily is a shaman and author. Follow Emily on Instagram or read more articles from Emily on Thought Catalog.

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