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A Beginner’s Guide To Bondage

This article talks about, you guessed it, bondage, so if that’s something you fancy hearing more about, please read on. If not, there are loads of other fantastic articles on here for you to look at.

Bondage, the B in BDSM, quite simply involves consensually tying somebody up or being tied up yourself. It’s often done as a sexual act, which is what we are going to talk about here, but not always. There are limitless possibilities of things you could use, so let your curiosity guide you. It can be done with ropes, sashes, handcuffs, or bondage tape, or things you can find around the house like a necktie or stocking.

Bondage is not for everyone, and nobody should ever feel pressured to try it if they are not interested. However, many people find pleasure in the vulnerability they feel while being tied up or they enjoy fully submitting to their partner or the physical feeling of the restraints tied around their body. It also lets you be a little selfish and fully enjoy the feeling of your partner touching your body, knowing that you couldn’t possibly move to do anything other than enjoy, even if you wanted to—while luckily, others really enjoy tying up their partner and taking charge of the situation.

The issue is, we don’t talk about types of sex like bondage enough—not in detail. So, while many people like bondage or haven’t tried it yet but know they want to, the ins and outs (pun intended) of how to do it safely aren’t really talked about outside of kink communities. It’s not as if any of us were given proper instruction about bondage in sex ed in school—that would be far too interesting.

Bondage is often the first kink people try out, so you might be interested and not know anything about kink or, importantly, anything about kink safety practices. Bondage, if you like, can be a satin ribbon tied around an otherwise vanilla sex life. Or it can be another kink on a very exhaustive kink list. Whichever you like. It’s all good.

With all sex things, the holy trinity—Safe, Sane, Consensual—is a great motto to go by to make sure you are doing things safely. This means firstly, getting enthusiastic consent from your partner for the specific thing you are going to do before the ties come out. You should also check for consent throughout sex, simple things like “You okay?’, “Does that feel too tight/tight enough?”, or “You like that?” Secondly, Sane means making sure you are in a good, informed mindset. Finally, it means looking after your physical safety.

There are several steps you can take to make sure bondage is done safely.

1. Make sure you can get out of the ties quickly in case of emergency. If you are using fabric or rope ties, make sure there are some scissors nearby in case there is not enough time to undo the knots. If you are using cuffs, find some with a release button which the restrained person can reach and press themselves in case of emergency. You can also buy silicone or Velcro cuffs, which, if needed, you can slide right off over the hands.

2. Ensure the ties are tight enough so you or your partner feels pleasurably restrained but not so tight as to risk cutting off blood supply. If a rope is tied around a wrist, for example, you should make sure that the rope can spin and move. You can also try a Zip Snare knot, which won’t tighten when you pull on the end of the rope. This way, the tied-up person can be moved around and the ropes can be pulled on without worrying about their safety.

3. Have a safe word. Using a safe word is a clear way to communicate that, for whatever reason, you need to stop, and in this case be untied or untie somebody.

Here are some ideas of simple bondage ties you could use to get started:

1. An oldie but a goodie: restraining the hands. Hands can be tied or handcuffed together. You can experiment with securing the hands above the head or to the bed frame.

2. Tying your partner to a chair. This is a great spot, especially for giving/receiving oral sex. The tied partner will be secure but comfortable.

3. The spread eagle. This is great because the restrained partner is both comfortable, desirably restricted, and very accessible for all types of play. This involves simply tying your partner’s hands and feet to the four corners of the bed whilst they lie on either their front or back.

It’s as simple as that. Now go on and have an exceptionally sexy and very safe time. Or not—it’s up to you!

About the author
When it comes to sex, safe is sexy. Follow Emily on Instagram or read more articles from Emily on Thought Catalog.

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