1. Two of a Kind
Apparently there’s a rule that sitcoms starring the Olsen twins can only be named after winning poker hands?…cool. Originally airing in ABC’s TGIF line-up, Two of a Kind was pretty much an 8-year-old girl’s dream come true. Bonus points for one of Ashley’s crushes being named Pokey Valentine (because if you’re going to crush on any guy in the late ’90s, his name should definitely be Pokey Valentine).
2. S Club 7
They took Miami, Hollywood…and then traveled back in time (#normal). Aside from their tendency to dance in oversized pants, this was a fairly quality ’90s programming.
Just because Sharon Spitz (the brace-faced cartoon), was 8,398,490 times less awkward-looking than I was in middle school doesn’t mean that I’ll hold that against her. Besides, Sharon Stone voiced her…you just can’t get more ’90s than that.
4. So Weird
Fiona travels through America on a rock star bus, catches ghosts, and gets to look at Erik Von Detton all day every day. Talk about living the dream.
5. In a Heartbeat
I always knew that this show about teenage EMTs was just a little too hard-hitting for Disney Channel. But seriously: catchiest theme song ever award, right here.
6. Smart Guy
Beyoncé makes a cameo. Anything was possible in the ’90s.
7. The Jersey
Some kids got jerseys that turned them into famous athletes. I got ones that smelled like feet.
8. Brotherly Love
Honestly, I don’t remember anything about this show besides the fact that 66.6% of the Lawrence brothers were highly attractive.
9. Moolah Beach
AKA Survivor for the under-13 crowd. I personally would love to know what parents let their kids sign up for this. Solid life choices for a raising a stable human being.
10. The Great Pretenders
I have no shame in admitting that I would have traded my left arm to be on this show when I was 8. Note: That is Fergie.
11. Are You Afraid of the Dark?
…I wasn’t before, but I am now.
12. Bug Juice
For anyone who saw Heavy Weights in 1995, Tony Perkis definitely sealed the deal on me never wanting to go to summer camp. Ever. Bug Juice was the only thing that made summer camp look remotely fun after: “Attention, campers. Lunch has been cancelled due to lack of hustle. Deal with it.”
13. Totally Circus
So this is the only proof I have that this show even existed. It was about kids who did circus things in their free time. Anyone? Anyone?
14. The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo
ATTENTION WORLD: This is free on Amazon Prime right now. Bye productivity, byeeee.
15. Clarissa Now
OK, so this show never saw the light of day (I’m still not over it). But how could a Clarissa Explains It All spin-off be anything but spectacular? RIP, Clarissa Now.