Emily Bozek

1. Eating like a bird.

“You should come over and watch a movie.”

Listen, I am terrified of commitment and I’m okay with that. In spite of this fact, on the second date I always find myself thinking about whether or not I like your last name or if our children would be ugly.

Note: Mexican food is never a good drinking base. Come on, people.

3. Replying to the paragraph-long anecdote we sent you with a “haha” or a “nice” is soul crushing. Stop that.