I am always a shade of blue. Sometimes, I am midnight blue clouded with ache, but then I wake to find myself a morning blue with sunshine peeking through. On January afternoons, I am a cool arctic blue. On July days, I’m ocean. October, I’m always sky. When I think of my mother, I become sapphire, for my father, I am robin’s egg. With good friends, I am peacock. Alone, I am stone. When I’m writing I am indigo, because it’s never quite the same twice. When I need to be strong, I close my eyes and see airforce blue. When I’m dreaming, I’m Alice blue. On Sunday’s, I fluctuate between cobalt and deep navy, depending on the weather. When I’m proud, I feel royal blue. When I’m feeling especially passionate, I pulse in shades of electric blue, when I’m feeling nostalgic, denim. When I think of that day on the pier, I go the color of the gulf coast. When I look at you, I am iris, but my eyes go a combination of cyan and Carolina. In your arms, I imagine I’d be periwinkle and laughing, because you’d say I’m baby. I’ve been azure, cerulean and cornflower, even powder blue on soft mornings in April. When I’m particularly sad, I’m forget-me-not. That one time in Mexico I was fern blue, and then there was the time I was Swiss alps. When I run, I am some form of teal. On birthdays, I am a cheesy version of Tiffany blue. That night on the bridge I was bleeding a deep ultramarine and I woke up maya blue – nobody really knows what that is. I wish there was a name for the blue I feel when I’m smiling. When I look out a window, I am topaz, and when I’m skipping stones on a beach I am mosaic. When it’s raining, I’m pigeon blue. When my practical side kicks in, I go oxford, but when I take risks, I go all watercolour – I’ve always loved watercolor. When I’m not feeling myself, I start turning blue-green, and not nice like turquoise or aquamarine. Whenever I’m driving with the windows down, I’m opal. On the first day of spring I am violet sky, and when the leaves fall I am steel. I am never medium blue. I don’t know how to be medium anything. I named the blue I become when my heart starts vibrating after you.
If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.
At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.
We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.