The 14 Types Of Facebook Likes

As we’re all sitting at home, hoping, waiting, and wishing that people will like our Facebook posts, let’s take a minute to figure out why we get likes to begin with. Here are the 14 different reasons people take the time to “click” like. 

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1. The Flirty Like

It’s Friday night and you’re pre-gaming with friends.  You haven’t heard from your new love interest since Wednesday and you really want to bump into them at the bar later. You’re checking your phone every five minutes to see if you’ve received that desired text. You’re now starting to annoy all of your friends by overanalyzing aloud whether or not this person is into you. It’s time to remember a watched pot never boils and proceed with the ‘notice me like.’ You log online and like this special someone’s most recent post no matter what it is. It’s the final step that needs to be taken before walking out the door.  If done right, expect a one of the following text messages within the hour- “what are you up to tonight?” or if they’re already tipsy,  “where are you?”

2. The Pity Like

You know this person is never going to get likes in the double digits, so you make sure you like some of their stuff to make them feel good. Chances are the person is nice but doesn’t have anything interesting to post. Even if the picture is just of an empty box of Dominos pizza, you like it, so the person feels that their social media efforts aren’t being entirely ignored. Or, this is the like you give to all your high school friends who never left your small town and are now posting photos of their 1+ children. You’re hustling your ass off in a big city and don’t give a shit about their lives, but occasionally you like their statuses anyways, to prove to them, and most importantly to yourself, that you’re not better than anyone.

Tip: If you’re going to take the Domino’s pizza photo, at least use a frame app and take a pic of the pizza before and after it is consumed. 

3.  The Obligatory Friend Like

It’s an unspoken rule that you have no choice but to like everything your closest friends post. In return, you can always rely on them to reciprocate the like and have your back, even when you post a selfie you’re not 100% sure about.

Note- This one is more common with girls.

4. The Reciprocation Like

Think about your one online acquaintance friend, xoxoxoJENNY for example, who likes every single thing you post. She basically worships you, or at least your social media persona. Once in awhile, you throw her back a ‘reciprocation like.’   Expect the floodgates of likes to open up after she sees you liked her one single photo. She’ll be so giddy when she gets that notification, that she’ll want to re-reciprocate your ‘reciprocation like’ and start liking even more of your stuff, most likely pics dating all the way back to your Summer 2008 album.

5. The Sideline Like

You know exactly who you are. You see a controversial status posted and a huge thread of comments underneath. Instead of getting involved with the back and forth comment war, you like the comments of the people you agree with. You’re showing whose side you’re on with a simple like and avoiding putting yourself out there directly. This could also be called the ‘passive aggressive like.’

6. The Creeper Like

This is probably one of the most commonly used likes among young men, more specifically, creep young men. So if you’re a creepy young man, this is when you like the photos and statuses of girls you want to hook up with, most of which are completely out of your league.  Jessica, a college acquaintance, posts a hot new pic of herself in a backless top that gets you tingly inside to the point of no return. It’s now only one click away from liking, and only a right click away from saving it on the computer for later usage. Before you know it, you have liked 15 of Jessica’s profile pics.  Lucky for you, you’ve grabbed her attention and avoided the fear of rejection from her seeing and ignoring your “hey” message.

7. The Computer Illiterate Like

I don’t really understand how this Facebook stuff works, so I like my own stuff. If you fall into this category, you’re probably born before 1970 or from countries other than the US or Canada.

8. The White Flag Like

You’ve been fighting with your best friend and she posts a new picture of herself in the middle of your texting war. You’re not making any progress over text, so you realize the best way to end this petty argument is by throwing her a ‘heat of an argument like.’  You like her recent post regardless of the content to show her you’re the better person. For some reason, your social media persona gets over things very quickly.

9. The Everything Like

You’re drunk or you’re a parent. Or, you’re a drunk parent.  If you’re drunk, you like everything anyone posts, even people you hate, because you’re feeling good and why the hell not? If you’re a parent, you like and comment on literally everything your child posts. Your timeline photo is also probably a nostalgic photo of your child(ren) in their  baseball uniforms or Halloween costumes circa 1996. And if you’re a drunk parent, please click this link.

10. The Accidental Like

Only to be quickly removed and hopefully unseen.

11. The Lonely Like

This is the time when you shouldn’t be near your computer because you’re lonely and starting to settle for any post.  You’re sitting home late at night and want any form of human interaction you can get, except for interaction with people who are out actually having fun, because that just pisses you off and makes you jealous. These likes are usually constrained to pictures of cats and dogs, babies, and artistic shots of bird men. The chances of you reaching out to an ex and sending a “how have you been” message are very high. After dishing out hundreds of likes you wouldn’t normally dish out, you wake up the next morning in disgust. You quickly clean up the spilled popcorn kernels and nutella sticking to your coffee table.  It’s time to go meet up with your real friends and pretend that last night’s liking spree never happened.

12. The Self-fulfilling Altruistic Like

You like a charity or reputable cause on Facebook to help the greater good. But let’s get real.  If you really wanted to help an organization, you would actually get off the computer and get involved. But for now, a like will do. This act of kindness will pop up on your newsfeed and all your peers will think you’re a good person.

13. The D-bag Like

Someone posts a status about something awful happening in their life and instead of leaving an empathetic comment, you like their status. You do it JUST to be a d-bag. Julie writes a post about her cat dying and you like the post.  While you’re laughing to yourself, Julie is clicking on your profile as fast as she can to defriend you.

14. The Lazy Like

The lazy like is your best friend on your birthday. When you don’t want to respond to every birthday wish on your wall, you just scroll down your timeline and like everyone’s comments instead.  This gets you out of having to start unnecessary conversation with old friends and acquaintances.

If you have “liked” things for other reasons than the 14 likes listed above, please leave it in the comments below! 

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