1) Manicures and pedicures: I love getting a mani and pedi more than anything in the world, and that is not a hyperbole. Having someone else paint my nails while I sit next to my friend and gossip about celebs, work, boys, etc is the most relaxing and satisfying thing ever. There’s no need to ever want anything more.
2) Baking: Now, I know dudes can bake (probably better than me) too, but lets be honest– they look like fools when they wear aprons and you have to rock an apron when you are baking. It’s the only way. As a girl, it’s a privilege to wear glittery and brightly colored aprons while baking some delicious sweet treats. Some say it’s a huge step back in our progress, but I say it’s empowering. If Beyonce sings about wearing heels in the kitchen because it’s dinner time, than I can wear a polka dotted, sparkly apron bare footed while making some delicious, fucking cookies.
3) Polka Dots: Guys can’t rock polka dots like a chick can. They just can’t. They look ridiculous. But I can wear polka dots and look adorable, intelligent and slutty all at once. It’s quite magical.
4) Rom Coms: I don’t understand the hate on rom coms. Are they ridiculous and does Katherine Heigl make us all want to punch babies in the face? Yes, of course, she’s the worst, but it doesn’t take away the message that Rom Coms pass on so brilliantly; that love is spectacular. Does Jennifer Lopez’s shitty movies make us all feel a little bit better, all while wanting to be a maid in Manhattan? Yes. Does Nicholas Sparks ignite a fire in all of us? HELL TO THE YES. It’s a fact that girls love hate watching “You’ve Got Mail”; it’s what gets us through the dark times of the internet dating age.
5) Taylor Swift Music: Do I judge a bro who says he genuinely likes and listens to Taylor Swift music? Yes. I make fun of them behind their back and to their face. Guys don’t actually listen to her melodic (and perfect) rants about love; only girls do. Pretending to be into her music just to try and sleep with me is pathetic and I kinda question your sexuality. If we ever sing karaoke to a Taylor Swift song, we will never see each other naked, boys, but ladies– let’s jam!
6) Crushes: No one on this planet can convince me guys sit around and talk about the girls they are crushing on. Girls are the only specimen on earth that can crush on people like that said person is a goddamn Backstreet Boy. Girls are just allowed to call their best friends at 2AM just to chat about the boy (or girl) that gives them butterflies. It’s kind of an unspoken law.
7) The Show GIRLS: I know it’s the cool thing to hate on the show GIRLS and to despise Lena Dunham, but I’m sorry, that show is relatable. I mean, do I sit in the bathtub, eating cupcakes while my best friend is on the toilet? No. But do we have the same issues, inner monologs and meltdowns as these characters? Totally. If you say you don’t then you are either a fucking liar or a Princess from some unknown foreign land who isn’t allowed to express her emotions properly.
8) Cursing: A dude once told me, “it’s adorable when you curse.” And to that I said “well, that’s fucking condescending and sexist, but thank you.” It may not sound lady like or classy, but sometimes throwing out the word “fuck” is necessary.
9) Slogans: We can shout things like “ovaries before broveries.” That is a great saying and we can thank Amy Poehler for that one.
10) Role Models: We’re allowed to have life role models like Tina Fey and the above mentioned Amy Poehler. Sorry dudes, Tina and Amy are ours — you can go swoon over Tom Brady.
11) Baby Talk: And I’m not just talking about literal ‘baby in the womb’ talk…we can baby talk to almost anything. Babies, puppies, a bowl of raspberries– you name it, it’s cool for us, as women, to nick name it and spill our maternal instincts all over it.
12) GIFs: We get to use that really hilarious and dope GIF of “ovaries exploding.” Guys don’t have a “testicles bursting,” because that sounds violent and gross.
13) Rants: We get to go on feminist rants and be totally logical because it’s all so true.
14) Genetics: Genetically, we just know all the words to Katy Perry songs and how to be really flirty and mysterious via text.
15) In General: Girls can by hypocrites and a little confusing. Like this list you say?