A Letter To 2015

Dear 2015,

My, what a tremendous year you have been. You have come and gone so quickly that I have hardly had the chance to grasp you. I have hardly had the chance to understand the concept of you, of what you mean. It seems that even though I have had you with me for the last year, you have twirled and danced away from me like a flash of light. I have hardy had the chance to come to terms with you, I have hardly welcomed you, I have hardly gotten used to writing you number in my journal. And yet, you are coming to an end, you are closing this chapter of my life, of our lives, just as quickly as it all began.

And yet, I am so thankful to your presence. I am so thankful for your fullness, and your lessons, for your days filled with beauty, for some filled with regret. I am thankful for this milestone. For the survival. For the living that I got to do with you.

You were not a year of confusion. If anything, you were a year of figuring out the most intricate details that never seemed to make any sense. You were like a roadmap where everything along the way was clear, the exits marked, the views along the way, breathtaking. You were hard work, and sleepless nights, but everything you gave me was worth it. 

You were like the light at the end of a long, and never-ending period of darkness and confusion. You made sense to me, you worked with me, you allowed me to be me and figure out who I truly am. That’s not to say that at times you were not trying. You were. But your trying times only made things make more sense to me. Things added up quicker, decisions were made faster. You tested me to the best of your abilities and let me come out the other side stronger than ever before. Your small periods of doubt and uncertainty became welcome reminders that I am only human and that I will never be perfect, but that I can learn to accept being imperfect to the best of my abilities. 

You were wondrous to me, you were rich, and kind, and loving, you were filled with more laughs than you were tears, more adventures than time spent at home. More appreciation for the small things. You were filled with the best kind of people, they were wholesome and good, and they felt safe and heaven-sent. You allowed me to explore the places closest to me, to find small homes of comfort in little towns scattering highways, in lakeside homes, in early morning coffee, you allowed me to allow myself to find homes in people again. 

Thank you for your lessons, thank you for being like air, like water. Thank you for forcing me to live again, to love again, to fall in love with myself again. Thank you for showing me that I posses more abilities and qualities than I ever thought. Thank you for appreciating me as much as I appreciated you. You were magical, and wonderful, and I’m forever grateful for you allowing me and giving me the time and safety to figure out who I am again. 

With love,

Ellie