Don’t waste my time. Do not ask for me to show up and be there for you, to set aside time and rearrange my day to offer the help you have asked for, and then don’t show up to accept the support I have to offer. My time is not for you to waste. It is not for you to take advantage of, to play with, and then to throw away. Time is precious. Time is more valuable than money. Time is a resource, a tool, something that I can never get back.
And there is so much more that you don’t see when I set aside time for someone I care about. There is a lot of thought and planning that goes into putting in time for someone else. Even using my own time, there’s a lot of planning that goes into whatever I am doing. When I am asked to help someone whom I care about, even more planning goes into the use of the time that I am using for someone.
Using someone’s time haphazardly is disrespectful towards that person, especially if that person enjoys being busy for their mental wellbeing or for whatever reason they enjoy being busy. Asking to use someone’s time disturbs their entire day, their entire schedule, their thought process, their rhythm.
My past relationship was very disrespectful towards my time. It hurt when I arranged my day to help them or spend time with them, and hours after our planned meeting time accompanied by radio silence, plans were canceled. It hurt. It was aggravating. Disappointing. It happened so often that I ended the relationship. I stopped showing up with my time. Having it happen again brings back the feelings of being hurt, let down, and disappointed.
I will always want to show up for those whom I deeply care for, but if my time is wasted, I will stop showing up. I guarantee that it will hurt me more to stop showing up for my loved ones than the loved ones I stopped showing up for.
So please, don’t waste my time.